I had a super packed weekend. 2 weddings and one movie and visit to the hospital and lotsa running around. it feels like there was no weekend and the week is just going on n on without a break. Yesterday, a casual conversation sparked a thought off. Everyone around me wants to learn something. I will be honest with you, I have never really wanted to learn anything. I am not kidding! I studied what I studied because I first thought it sounded cool, and then I wasn’t allowed to quit. I could probably tell you things I have wanted to study – all “at that moment” sort of things. Journalism after watching Burkha Dutt (in her better days) on TV for an hour, Interior Designer ( After I was amazed at the work of an interior designer), Mass Communcation because someone said I was good at communication and finally Physiotherapist because my family said I had a healing touch!!! Then I realised I never really cared and thats how I became a Psychology Graduate.
I have had my moments – singing, photography, dancing and French even(I daydream about being able to sing in front of a bunch of people and getting a standing ovation. That is exactly what it is – a daydream. After 10 plus years of learning carnatic music, I made a debut on stage when I was in my teens and the orchestra went horribly wrong and my confidence of singing hit rock bottom. To this day, I dont sing in front of people. I learnt photography for awhile from a very well known personality. He said if I like photography I’ll learn things myself! I took that as an excuse and started taking photos by myself without learning the basics. I learnt dance for 4 years and quit because the teacher threw a stick at me! French is a post for another day! You can say that I don’t have the discipline to learn anything. I can try to sound cool by saying that the theoretical first few days of learning something bore me enough to quit, and it might just be true. No wonder my college years were such a torture initially. Because of my complete, unapologetic inability to sustain the first few days of learning. But then again, what does education have to do with learning? (And that I really mean.)
There are things I want to learn. I am not sure if one can. Like shopping well. I shop. Not too expensive, nothing extraordinarily cheap. Most of my clothes are quite nice too. But they are all the same. Similar colours, similar patters. Cotton and denim. That is it. And I won’t count the clothes bought for occasions, because they are all packed to perfection exactly one week after the wedding. There is hardly any variety in my wardrobe. I wish I could go on a shopping spree and find 5 pieces of clothing, all completely different from each other and unlike the ones I already own. Even if I buy a new top, it will look like one of the older ones. I don’t know how I always end up doing this! How can I unlearn this?
My patterns of love, hate, and indifference are extremely erratic. If I am let down by someone I REALLY care about, I just turn away. Indifferent. But it is the non entities I lose sleep over. I just need to know they are alive. That is enough to irritate me. Turn me into a bitter person. Irrespective of whether that person is around or not. And there is a chance that these people neither betrayed me nor personally did me any harm. What the hell! Another thing that I need to unlearn, and learn the opposite of. Only I don’t know what the opposite is.
I want to learn how to really read something that is important but uninteresting. Rent agreements, bank letters, taught me how to put history lessons in perspective back in school. As you grow up, you realise that a lot of your presenforms. I can never read anything important. Important to everyday existence that is. Except the newspaper maybe. Page 3 or supplements
Of late I have wanted to learn driving. I mean I have always wanted to learn it but nothing has ever given me that push or urge to actually learn driving. But the other day I saw a foreign lady drive around a huge mean machine( Read; Fortuner) and I was gaping at it long after she was gone. I realised that I just gotta learn it (It is a strange feeling to have foreigner excite me about learning to drive a car). And then, I am going to learn to swim to just to help Ro get rid of his fear of water bodies. And then there are so so so many things I want to learn! Maybe ten years later, I’ll blog on how many things I actually learnt after today. What say?!
So that is that. Do you know who can teach me all those things? Is learning always a result of teaching? I know the converse is not always true!