Long Life

The day started as usual for him. Nothing new, nothing welcoming. Everything was just the way he was used to. Went to the bathroom, a routine he enjoyed till a few months back. Now it has become a necessity. Brewed a hot cup of coffee, took the newspaper and ran thru the headlines.

That’s it. As expected the news was there; this time it was a teenager who went for buying fish. The photo of his brand new bike was there in the inner page. A scoop of metal pieces for the JCB. Threw the paper towards the paper corner and enjoyed a sip of water, a soothing effect on his  stomach.

As the water passed through his pipe he thought; eh??? No hangover? How come? Had so much last night, still….. liver???????? A scary thought for a few minutes. As the moment passed he patted himself and said, “ Not yet reached the limit, there is still time and a long way to go!”

 

Awake, in thoughts

She can’t sleep though she never had a difficulty in going to sleep. That was once upon a time though.  Every time  she shut her eyes, images flit across, like a movie. The temper in his voice, the raised tone filled with anger, frustration. And then the audio track runs. ‘You cant understand me.’ ‘No respect for my time or space.’ ‘ What do I not do to make you happy?’ ‘Pushing my limits.’ Everything

She turns over, all restless. And then the past. A recent, not so old past. ‘Leave me alone.’ ‘I regret you.’ ‘I am not the one you’re looking for.’ ‘There’s always more than one.’ ‘Life has to move on you know.’

She waits, lying on her side, waiting for the pain to ebb into something dull. She has no more tears left. She glances at the clock above her bed. It shows 2:15 am. She remembers telling him, ‘At midnight, magical things happen.’ And then he called that night and said “I Love you.” She sighed, that was again a thing of the past.

For a moment, she thinks of missing work the next day. The thought of curling up into a ball and just lying there is very appealing. But her chin moves automatically upwards. She has had enough of the people she loves. They will not love her back the way she wants them to. Ever.
She rubs her tired eyes. They seem to be murky most of the time now. The red t-shirt she wore seems to dissolve into a pool of blood by the side of her bed.  Tears? Drool? Or just blood?She experimentally reaches a hand out, as if  he would be there like he always said.’ Your head on my chest and me holding you tight.’Nothing at first. And then, she feels a warm  something feel her hand. For a moment, she imagines his lips over hers. And his face blurs into that which can never be. The something would as usual be the teddy he gave her as a valentine day gift, once upon a time.

Far far away, in a not so small, white house, in the rainy July’s of Kerala, a man throws off his blankets and mutters ‘ Screw this. I couldn’t even sleep last night’ . He isn’t  sure why he is so restless.

Maybe he was awake in someone’s thoughts…

 

Play

He comes near me, I enjoy.

I go near him, he backs out.

Is this love? Or is it a play?

Why can love not be straightforward, simple and honest.

Why so much strategising?

Why hiding and then appearing?

He writes his own script and makes me one of the ‘not so important’ characters in his play

>Meaning of Life

>MEANING is not something you stumble upon like the answer to a riddle or a solution to a puzzle.It’s something you build in your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties , out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice almost anything. The ingridients are all there, you are the only one who can put it together into the pattern that will be your life. A life that has dignity and meaning because you created and designed it. If it takes shape finally, then the balance of success and failure is of less account.

P.S- in the words of my hero,”When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.I would then say you lived a meaningful life!”