I have a job, too.

So I have a job, too. I’ve had it for the last three years and 6 months. It would be fair to say that it really is nothing like I expected it would be. I love that line. It is so loaded. It could be the statement of an HR fresher who has been lucky enough to find her niche in the World of Work in the first attempt, or it could be the gripe of a disillusioned HR Professional who finds that the World of Work has placed her in its very dregs.

Don’t worry, I’m somewhere in between. I’m not likely to die of too much happiness or become an embittered, cantankerous old lady who lives with a parrot with a charming disposition anytime soon.

I work at a manufacturing firm that makes seasonings and food ingredients. A pretty huge firm with about 135 permanent staff and 100 casuals, I am proud when I say that I am the sole HR who takes care of all the issues. Right from sourcing to exit interviews of all of them is taken care by me. So when you come to think of it, its a dream job for all HR professionals. You can learn everything and have a first hand shot at every aspect in HR. But thats that. When you work for a family business, you have a lot of limitations.

Anyhow, I’ve learned some valuable lessons during my not so long career. One is that mindblocks are very pesky things, and they have lousy timing. Secondly, levels of ignorance are bound to be higher once you step out of your hallowed college campus, so that shouldn’t surprise you. Third, most people will not understand your need to talk aloud to yourself or have fun with ur friends at work, and they will react by smiling indulgently and giving you their best “She’s SUCH A Child” look. Next, people say some shockingly inappropriate and offensive things sometimes. When you simmer down, you’ll realize that the bloke has a daughter, who shall grow up someday. And then you smile slowly, sure in the knowledge that life will teach him. Finally, you will sorely miss the time when your friends were the people that you spent most of your days with. Understanding, empathy, love and friendship are very, very precious things. And if you’re lucky enough to actually find a friend in your workplace, go break a coconut in a temple or something. Most people bring only one part of themselves to their workplace, and that is not really enough sustenance for a friendship. It’s good enough for a few laughs and general niceness, but not really friendship.

Oh and if you are an unmarried girl of marriageable age, a gazillion people will ask, in tones of utmost concern.”Why don’t you get married?”. After the fifty-eth time, you’ll smarten up, stop explaining, plaster your best wise-grandma smile and say,”Because I don’t feel like”(and say”Because I am scared that I’lll turn into something like you” on your mind.)

I like parts of my job. I like that I have a few good friends. I like that I can present ideas to the boss,even though he thinks it is bull shit and rarely heeds my advice. I like that there’s a room where I can read the newspaper everyday after lunch. I like the fact that tea is free. What I don’t like is the amount of  nagging that takes place here. I hate the narrow mindedness almost everyone seems to posses here.I don’t like the profusion of gender offensive cursing, and the lack of awareness about the offensiveness of it. I don’t like the recycling of old ideas. I don’t like that people just detest change in any form.

But inspite of all this, I’m very, very lucky that I actually get to do what I’m good at, and have my work taken seriously. Sometimes….Rarely.

 

From Lappie, With love

My Laptop,lappie has panache!

It’s battered, bruised, chipped, cracked, marred, used and abused but it has a certain charm to it. It calls out to you and says,

“Hey look at me, I am something special, so what if I am not perfect, there is perfection in my imperfect existence. I have lived a full and rich life, seen things others haven’t, done some pretty wild things and been in some weird locales.  I am a wanderer with his heart rooted in one place called “home.”

If only I had blood running through my veins, I would dip my pen in it and write my life story but since I have just some wires and a chip in me, I will tell you my story in the only way I can, by way of text. The crack that you see near the touch pad is due to the fact that M@d had the habit of keeping me on 24/7, 365 days a year. She never slept and never let me sleep either. She kept me up from morning to night and then again from night to morning. Especially while she was studying for Human Resource. Ask her friends:Ash,Tee, Gij, Somettan,Raakri etc. She ran on chicken and made me run on electricity.

My charger tanked and gave up half way through the second year of our association of 5 years. The motherboard had heated up and ignited and burnt making a crack appear on my being, my inner turmoil was exposed to the cruel eyes of the indifferent world. Each and every scratch on my body has an interesting story to tell. Now I am as good as a desktop. I can’t move around like my siblings, I have to be rooted to a spot or move around only as far as the wire lets me; I am a prisoner of my own chord and not accord. The charger is always plugged in from start to shut down, have no life without it.:( Its like the ventilator thingie you humans get wired to at the end of your lives.

I have played songs for her, millions of songs, sad, happy, and angry and some romantic ones in between the angry and happy ones. But mostly soft, melodious ones, she loves music and I have fallen in love with it too. There was a time when she used to play some stupid farm games on some site.  I tried my best to dissuade her from playing that game by  taking time load the page and all that but she still wouldnt let go. Finally someone got some sense into her head n she stopped farming!Another thing she likes is writing. She used to write on word earlier n now she has started writing on her blogs directly. She is a piece of work, and I have been her side kick for 5 years. We make a good team. I love her energy and enthusiasm. She rocks and so do I.

Then there were her projects and assignments, the actual reason her father bought me and let her keep me. The research, downloading, printing, reprinting has driven me mad but I have become an amateur professional because of her. Thanks to m@ds I now know about HR laws, Marketing jargons and process and have become a professional in cut-copy-paste!

She used to take me to some crazy places: the library(just for horror), to cocoa tree(she used to get free wi fi there), her friend’s place, her class(to chat and pull rajeev’s leg), MG Road, Kakkanad, Kalamassery, Kottayam, Bangalore…haa watta life! I have been exposed to all the elements, sun, rain and wind. Sometimes she and her friends have spilled coke and coffee on me other days noodle and soup. She is one sloppy eater but she has never hurt me, never let me fall from her grasp and grace. She has always protected me and cared for me in her wild, careless way. She has loved me more than she has loved anybody in her entire 25 years or so I hope

We made a good team, like that strange dog on tv and its master, Dumb and dumber etc. I battle scarred and she the same, both valiantly charging ahead in life, against all odds, unafraid, passionate about life and its discoveries. Looking forward to another day in the sun or rain. Unafraid, enthusiastic and happy to be alive, living every moment, enjoying it and appreciating the ironies of life. “

 

LAppiee, I love you still!!! I would never trade  you for anything in the world…..

Stand by me!

First day at work-On joining work

After breaking a coconut at the Ganpati temple, Ramesh rushed to his new office. He could barely contain his excitement! He was to begin work at his new company! When he reported to the new boss, he was asked to wait in the reception area; after a seemingly interminable wait, Ramesh saw his boss fling open the door and walk past in a tearing hurry. As he passed, he threw a glance at the new recruit and said, “please wait, someone will show you to your desk,” and hurried on. By now Ramesh had waited for nearly an hour and a half. By and by, a lady walked up to him and said gruffly, “you must be the new person in Exports; come with me”. She proceeded to lead him briskly through the corridor and into a work area. Looking around, Ramesh saw a sea of unfamiliar faces, apparently immersed in work. But as he tagged along behind the lady he could feel curious looks pursue him. Are they hostile or am I imagining things, he wondered. The lady stopped abruptly and said, “this is your work station. You’ll find keys to the desk in the drawer”. And with that, she turned on her heels and walked away. The people around him did not even acknowledge his presence. As Ramesh sank into his new chair, so did his hopes.

While Ramesh’s experience on his first day is an exaggerated example, I suspect that in many organizations, it is not too far from reality! New recruits need to be cared for in a special way until they find their bearings; otherwise, they are well on their way to indifferent job performance and eventual exit in quick time. Look at it this way: every new recruit is generally highly enthusiastic, eager to learn and motivated when she joins a new company. Have you ever heard of a demotivated new recruit reporting for work on the first day? But as time elapses, she slides down the motivational graph. A combination of callous HR practices, lack of training and clarity in roles, responsibilities and performance objectives vitiated by an atmosphere of indifference combines to erode the person’s motivation rapidly. If you plot a person’s motivational level from Day One in the organization, don’t at all be surprised if you find the graph sloping downward from left to right! Allowing the new recruit to slide down the motivational graph is an unconscionably costly exercise for any organization. Motivation is undoubtedly the major determinant of job performance. Therefore, it holds the key to productivity; and it is productivity that ensures profitability and survival. So, to prevent the new recruit motivational slide syndrome it is vital to incorporate the following nuanced sequence: orientation and induction, job and expected performance description (written Role, Responsibility, Objectives and Standards), training and information on rules, benefits and organizational structure and culture. To ensure regular feedback, periodic performance reviews are absolutely essential. And, to enable the new recruit to feel a modicum of security, an internal mentor can be designated.

Tip: A new recruit is like a tender new bud in a flowerbed; as a gardener, constantly tend to the bud with patience and care. Then you’ll see the bud blossom into a beautiful flower! If the buds don’t blossom, perhaps its time weed out the gardener!