Addicted

Happiness is addictive. Or so I like to believe. I think its also contagious. Like if people around you are happy, then maybe you become happy too.  So right now I am happy and am on the road to becoming happiest pretty soon. I  am happy and most of the people around me are also happy. Ok I am using the word happy one too many times. I gotta tell you things that are nice to hear and probably the reasons why I am so elated..

…..Mangu(The other M) is getting married in ten days and am super excited for her. Them.

…..Div is carrying and is due in November.

……Captain n Anju are also tying the knot soon. Babs and nandu are getting engaged in September. And so is another friend, Manu.

……All of us together will be starting our wedding shopping soon, hopefully.

……Das is happy because I am smiling all the time and singing and dancing all over the house.

……I am excited coz my own room might just be turing into a reality pretty soon.

……I’ll finally be meeting Deeps after a gap of 6 years!

……Joeeey is back in town and suddenly there seems to be a lot of things to do here!

……I have officially resigned and am looking forward to enjoying the Monsoon with loads of cups of hot piping tea. Finally.

……I start wedding shopping soon. Shopping! Such bliss and contentment.

……Old friends. New Friends. Reunions and more.

……A friend i thought I might never see for a long time is coming for M’s wedding. Or so I hear.

……I have begun to work out again and am feeling good about it.

……And then last but not least, except Whats App everything else that makes me happy is free! Hugs, inside jokes, friends, kisses, long walks, sleep, laughter, family and good memories.

P.S- I am addicted to happiness! Please touch wood.

Its alright to spend on making memories.

This article was up as a good read in one of the sites I follow.  FOr each one of you who thinks that photography is a waste of time and money and all those who think that spending an amount for photography for any occasion is totally unwanted, take a look at this article. 

“My parents have exactly 18 professional images from their wedding. Eighteen. I know them inside and out. I could describe each image to you so well that a sketch artist would be able to recreate them.

How do I know them so well? Because I’ve looked at them hundreds of times. I’ve looked at them hundreds of times because they were on display, in an album. An album that was made by a professional, filled with prints made through a professional lab and bound in a book available only to professionals. From the time I was a little girl I was fascinated by it — seeing my parents so young, my grandparents and aunts and uncles surrounding them. It was a simple leather book, with the images slipped in and preserved behind plastic but it held up surprisingly well over time. Even though I looked at it more times than I could count. Even though this May those images will turn 42 years old.

But what about couples that marry today? What if they decide to forgo an album? What if they decide it’s not worth the cost? How many images do you really think they’ll put into frames? Five? Ten? Maybe that first year married, they’ll have a bunch. But then, kids comes along. Baby pictures replace wedding pictures in those frames. They move, things change. In 40 years, how many pictures do you think their children will know by heart? How many pictures will they have even seen?

Today, a lot of couples think just getting the disc of images is good enough. Here’s the problem with that thinking: it’s not true. Not by a long shot.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that getting the files from your day is great. Today’s couples probably get up to 1,000 images from their wedding, WAY more images than my parents did. After all, what happened to all those other images from my parents’ wedding day? They probably sat, negatives in a box, at their photographer’s studio never again to see the light of day. So I think it’s wonderful that couples get ALL their photos. But what worries me is that even with that option, it won’t mean that today’s couples will necessarily be better off. My fear is that today’s couples will actually end up with LESS than what my parent’s got in 1971.

Think about it, will the computers of 2055 even have DVD drives? USB ports? Will they even have hard drives at all? If the past is any indication, the answer is no. You know what the big technological advancement was when my parents got married? Eight-track players. What if their images were stored on the equivalent of that? How in the world would I see those images today?

But you know what never becomes obsolete? What never goes out of style? Photographs. And not just any photographs. Not photos printed at a drugstore. Professional photographs, printed by a professional lab. Those are the photos you find in an attic. It could be a 100-year-old photo, but it still looks good. Because back then, the paper photographs were printed on was high quality and developing them was an art form. There were no machines that spit out pictures onto cheap paper with inexpensive ink. I actually have to stop myself from intervening when I see people at those automated machines in a drugstore. Whatever they’re charging, it’s too much. Because those prints aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. They will fade. They will curl. They will not stand the test of time. Not even close.

Your memories are worth more than that. And your wedding images? They are worth TONS more than that. These aren’t snapshots from a vacation. They aren’t pictures from your iPhone. You cared enough about these moments to hire a professional to photograph them. Follow that through by having a professional print them. Have that professional print the pictures you put into frames and have them design you a high-quality wedding album that you will cherish for decades.

If you purchase an album through your photographer, you can see a sample in person. You can touch and feel it and make sure it is worth every penny.

I know that albums are expensive. That’s for good reason. They are custom-designed books, usually hand-stitched and hand assembled and made just for you.

But of all the things you spend money on for your wedding, your wedding photographs are the ONLY thing that will increase in value over time. As the years pass, you’ll be more and more glad that you have them. Especially, if you can experience looking through them by flipping through a gorgeous custom-designed album instead of sitting in front of your computer and clicking “next” with your mouse.

So, figure out a way to make it happen. Figure out a way to afford that album. Forgo a centerpiece. Cut back on your guest list. Opt out of the vintage car you’ll drive in for all of 20 minutes.

Don’t just do it for you. Do it for your children. Do it for your grandchildren. Because when they root around in your attic in 2075, they will have no idea what do with a USB key anymore than they would with a laser disc player.”

I know I’ll spend on photos on every notable occasion in my life. I have always done that and I will continue to do so. WOuld you keep memories alive for your generations to come?

And when the day finally arrived

This arranged marriage setup is kinda awkward really and twisted. Its like reverse engineered love. You are made to believe that this is the person you ought to spend the rest of your life with, then you get to know each other and then somewhere along the way, you fall in love.  It sounds twisted and I must say that I was very very apprehensive about the whole thing. And then it happened.

You never really know those special day of your life. The days you think are going to be big ones, they are never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It’s the regular days, the ones that start out normal. Those are the days that end up being the biggest and the special ones. And yesterday was my biggest day so far. I wouldn’t have believed it if someone told me that when I woke up yesterday that it would be my biggest and one of those special days.

Here’s the thing about arranged marriages. You would know exactly when you really fell in love, you would know when you felt that connection being made and you would know the precise moment when you see the sparks fly.  It was beautiful. Perfect. You never really know the special day of your life is your special day, not until it’s happening. You don’t recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you’re right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there’s not enough time because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. Yesterday was mine. The day I foolishly realized that I was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with the Nair Boy. The day I realized that I cant just stay without him around. The day I understood that I cannot wait to be his. The day my heart told me that I want to grow old with him next to me.Yesterday…..my special day.

“….and one day the two shall become one, to have and to hold. All because they fell in love.”

She is married!

Remember this and this? This post will be the end to that series alright. You know you’re someone’s best friend when you go to to that person’s wedding and everyone knows you! And for those who don’t, you’re introduced as a very special member with words like ‘Hey, Meet my best friend” etc. So my girl got married on 5th January 2013 and while I watched her say “I Do” with a voice that I couldnt stop smiling about later, I realised that dreams do come true. It does. All you need to do is to wait. Just a little patience and your dream would come alive. When I saw her that morning I couldnt help sit and admire how much she had changed overnight. Just last week we were shopping, giggling like school girls and making a hue and cry at the shop and now she was here, all decked up, smiling and ready to step into the next chapter of the classic book of life.

All I can talk about is her smile that day. She was smiling from cheek to cheek! While the prayer was going on, while her sister sang for her, while the blessings were showered on her, while Ashish said “I do”, while she said “I do” and through the length of the wedding, she was smiling! And a very naughty one that too. I have never seen a bride as happy as she was. Well she still is. I chose to believe that she was overwhelmed. But no. She was genuinely happy and man am so super happy for her.

Seeing her in a PINK saree sitting next to her man, looking all regal and elegant reminded me of the times when we used to care two hoots about our looks. I remember how much fun we used to have back in our college days. The who-cares-a-damn-about-what-we-wear- attitude and the make up sessions and the haircutting sessions and the saree session we used to have. Then it moved on to the girly phase were we did everything we could to look like girls! It was fun. And all that changed with the blink of an eye. Rugged, tough jeans paved way to elegant looking salwars. Floaters changed into dainty looking sandals. Scrunchy tied hair changed to well styled, blow dried, hair sprayed hair!

That my girl is beautiful,would be an understatement.She literally…literally…took one’s breath away. And through this solemn, peaceful composure – that only comes from a certainty of knowing that you’re doing the right thing  and that my girl is in trusted hands- I watched her as she went from Ms Diviya Ann Koshy to Mrs Diviya Ashish with a magical smile and a skip in her step.

A Dream Wedding

I told you I would write on my dream wedding.

Yes I was a tomboy during my growing up years but that does not make me any less feminine now. I dream. Like every normal girl of my age, I dream. I dream about that wonderful life, happy family, good career, nice well settled life, a dream wedding and I dream about that one man who will make all those dreams come true. Ya ya I know. For all of the above to come true, I need that one man in my life. My knight too shall come. And this is for you, so that you begin to know me and help me achieve my dream…. So as far as my dream wedding goes. Here’s the one I would love to have!

The Engagement

We hindus, here in Kerala have a very small ceremony for the wedding. Its mostly a twenty minute thing. The ritual, that is. Well traditionally we also have the engagement which is also the ring exchange.Since the engagement also marks th beginning of a new life, it would be great to have a small gathering of about less than 50 people, immediate family and close friends. I would prefer it is in my house rather than a hall. An elegant looking saree and he in a nice looking kurta and mundu! Who said only Mohanlal and SRK looks good in Mundu!

Eve of the Wedding

The bride and the groom seek the blessings of their elders and well wishers on the eve of the wedding. Last month, at a family friend’s wedding eve, I was just amazed at how well they had conducted it and I decided its what I want. The entire ceremony will be in a hall. Once I have finished taking blessings, all the elders can have food and leave. We, friends, cousins and myself will stay back and have fun: singing, dancing, ragging each other etc. After all it would be my last night of singledom!

The Wedding

We have a way two processes, one is the thaali kettal( tying the chain) and then exchanging the garlands. As far as I am concerned, the former is very important and a very private moment. I have seen many weddings and in most of them the bride is very scared during this moment and the groom generally starts trembling while tying the chain! In some very private weddings I have been to, the ones where only a few are present for this ceremony, the bride prays while the groom, happily ties the chain. That’s what I want. So I want a very very small gathering, with just about 20-25 people, really private affair. I want to take in every moment in the most pristine manner. I don’t want hundreds of people looking at me and stealing my moment in time from me. Not that day! I want him to enjoy and in a very nice, calm way take in the fact that he is a married man now and not get scared by the ruckus people create during the wedding! Me in the traditional set saree with just a chain and earings and one bangle and him in a simple shirt and mundu. Yes yes I am fetish when it comes to men and mundu ;)

The Reception

I have nothing to say about this. Everyone is invited, anyone can come. Family, friends, friends of friends, anyone! It would be great if the reception is on the day after the wedding. Laid back and relaxed. A nice theme for the reception, maybe. Something I have in mind is this: A nice venue by the water. Candles/ lanterns lit up all over the place, no stage and stuff, tables and chairs arranged in clusters. Me and him walking hand in hand, welcoming, greeting and meeting people rather than them coming up to us! Great food and drinks! This is me and this is my dream wedding. I will definitely write on how it actually was once it is over and done with. For all those who are confused or wondering if I am getting hitched, No. I am not. Not even remotely close to getting hitched. You, yes you, keep reading my blog and when I get married, you are invited too  :)

For the time being, here is to all those of you who are married and happy :) Hope every day is as good or even better than your wedding day :)

Watch out! Wedding Ahead..

On that day, a lot of emotions engulfs the hearts
Happiness and tears sharing its equal parts
On that day, a new relationship is born
On that day, a swarm of people come flocking to meet
On that day, huddles of gifts and wishes are piled to greet
On that day, sparkling colours and grandeur permeates a lot
On that day, tasty delicacies  adhere to what the  taste buds sought
Sherwanis, Lehangas, Mundu and Silk Sarees
Adams and Eves look best to the T
Conversations, Chuckles, Chit chat and lasting talks
Excitement and Entertainment brimming in the scene
On that day, musical instruments compete for its attention
Moving Palanquins making proud of its creation
On that day, all eyes are on the hero and the heroine
On that day, she exhibits an added flavour of feminity
On that day, he showing the macho latent in him
On that day, the knot witnesses its inherent beauty
On that day, the guy and the girl enter into wedlock.

There is a wedding in my house in the coming few days. I have seen my family run here and there to save up the money to spend for the wedding. Everyone is looking into the minutest of minutest details and figuring out the money, people etc. My aunt, the mother of the groom has a pen on her ear from morning to evening to jot down names of people she has forgotten to invite! My uncle carries a huge black bag to carry the money for the expense of the wedding that he is afraid might get stolen if he keeps it at home! I mean why this hullabulla? Isn’t the family supposed to be at peace when a wedding is fixed! No wonder, event managers and wedding planners are multiplying!

Here are a couple of points that I have jotted during weddings:

  • Exorbitant rates of Marriage halls running into time cost in lakhs ( I have plans of investing in one looking at the number of halls available in the city)
  • Decorations all over the place leaving no wall at home go unnoticed
  • And if you are from the South of the continent, god help you with the GOLD!
  • Expensive clothes that takes up half the time for making wedding arrangements. Sarees for all occasions for all “close” relatives and shirts for their better halves as well!
  • Foot wear of brides having sparkling gold plated accessories costing more than 10k( YOu cannot even wear it outside once the day is over)
  • Gifts of acknowledgements for members attending the occassion!
  • Food!! Night before the wedding is oNLY meant to eat,eat and drink! This is one event that teaches us national integrity because you will have dishes from different parts of the country!
  • Number of dishes directly proportional to the number of dustbins to carry wastages — Not referring to used plates , used dishes getting wasted.
  • To top everything, there are relatives that come only to stay at a hotel. To match the status of the family, accomodation has to be arrabged at the best hotel in town. So relatives get an excuse to come for the wedding and stay in a nice hotel, free of cost! I have seen a relative stay at the hotel and not attend the wedding! Stay for free, food for free, what wedding??Come on people, get a life!!

Just for that day, should the spend go beyond the wallet ?should investments be diluted ?should to-be -more appreciated lands be sold ?should loans join in to be a perennial family member? and should finally should the family liability sheet need to increase ?

For people who need not do any of the above actions , should there still be arequirement of expensive wedddings ?

Cannot the money be spent in a more useful manner ? No I am not philanthropic but neither do I believe in spending money for the wrong reasons.

Now if you ask me, wouldn’t my wedding be the same way? That’s a post for tomorrow..

Just Another Boy-2

Haaa as I end my second week, my score stands at around 575 hits and about 30 requests/interests. Well, I really don’t know if these numbers are low, average or high but looking at the way this is going, I am kind of losing hope n losing hope fast. Yes I know you’ll be thinking, “Jeez this lady has been on the radar for just over two weeks and she is already losing patience.” I can explain! For almost 5-6 years of my life, I have never needed to look out for anything or anyone for that matter. This is  kind of freaking me out. I mean I have to go through profiles and shortlist them, Then send out messages saying, I/ the family is interested in this profile so please let us know if you are interested. Ugh!

So you see, it really is difficult when you have sooooo many choices and you are kind of deciding on your future by making that one choice. Yes I have complained about not having enough choices before but….come on! This is really weird. Having to choose a “husband” for yourself between so many choice is DIFFICULT!

AAh so here are my prospective knight in lungi’s . Actually, this week is ok compared to last week.

 Guy 1:
Name: SM
Age:31
Location:Boston,USA
Well, this was through my cousin and also up on the site. Interests match and so does the family etc etc. Gotta wait and watch. But, honestly I have certain qualms of getting married to relatives and friends of relatives because if anything happens, god forbid but if anything goes wrong in tat relationship, then none of these families involved can speak to each other or look at each other and that’s unfair.
 
 Guy 2
Name: PG
Age: 30 I think
Location:Scotland
Haa Scotlandwas my initial reaction. Well, I don’t really like going abroad and settling down butScotlandis nice place na?! Hehehe just kidding. So well the only thing that’s troubling me with this guy is that he is thin L and well he is into adventure sports and fitness and he reads self help books. That’s my issue. But he seems like an okay person to talk.

 Guy 3

Name: SSP
Age: 31
Location: UAE/Mavelikkara
He too seems like an okay person. Shares the same interest n all. But you see I have a very irky relationship with mavelikkara. Yes it’s my mother’s home town and also where a lot of people I don’t like, reside. So…. That’s the only problemo.

 Well that’s it for this week. And for those who are wondering why I am writing such posts and ranting about my journey to finding “The Suitable Boy

  1. its to help girls like me who do not know what to choose and how to go about this arrange marriage thingie
  2. its for me to remember the fright/fun/apprehension etc I faced during this time and laugh later on.
  3. its for my …….mere priya pati dev to read and know what I felt about him the first time I saw him or read about him.
  4. and lastly its just for the fun of it!

Untill next time, Oh my Knight in Lungi, Run!!!!