Posted in close to heart

>She…

>Sometimes I wonder what life would have been if she was around.It takes a while for some people to miss someone and to understand how much they value another person. I dont know if i missed her from the start and just pushed the feelings aside or did i just forget the fact that she was not around coz thats how happily he had brought me up..
A few days ago..I woke up all on a sudden and realised that she was not around. I realised that it was not a dream at all..Eveythin was real..the last 15 years of my life was indeed real and not a dream. No matter how I tried to run away from it, it had finally caught up with me. I got up from bed that morning trying to fight everything that came my way, maybe it was my way of taking out all those feelings of despair inside..
Now when i sit down and think, i realise i remember very little of her..but the things i remember are crystal clear…I remember…
her getting me ready to school every morning..the usual fights in the bathroom..
the way she used to pin a hand kerchief on my uniform..
The way she used to sing when she was doing something in the kitchen..
The way she used to make me record all the songs and poems i learnt on the tape recorder.
The times i used to be angry with her for not letting me go out to play with my friends.
The way she used to smile when she gave me books to read when i was down with fever and not attending school..
I remember the way she used to sing to me when we were alone
the way she used to call my name..noone has ever called my name that way..
i remember the last things she told me….

Everything is coming back to me..dont know why..maybe its because these days all my friends are talking about marriage and future life..where their mothers are teaching them how to manage houses and look after their houses o maybe its just because i realised only now what i was missing and what she meant to me..

I know for sure that my life would have been a lot different if she was around..I know i would have been the perfect girl in every sense..Sometime i really miss her presence..guess its a part of growing up…
There are so many things in which i want to be like her..
the way she used to live her life..the way she used to make everyone smile around her..the way she used to take care of all of us..the way she was concerned about everyone..the way she used to take care of even those little things..the way she was perfect…Everyone and anyone who met her never forgot her..that was her magic…
That was my mother..Miss you

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Author:

There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

8 thoughts on “>She…

  1. >Do not be anxious about anythning,but in everything,by prayer and petition,with thanks giving,present your request to god.he will be ther 4 u alwaysYou tkcr my dear sister-

  2. >Hmmm .. no matter how many years it still haunts me .. itz hard .. But i rather stay away from what i would have become if she was around .. because i simply don't/can't know .. and i don't want to know … Itz hard .. Itz not fair .. But it happened .. Can i change it? .. NO. So when those moments of sadness pass .. i just remember the good memories (real or made) .. shed a tear. and move on … tc.

  3. >i've known u a long time madri… i hav always admired the manner in which u conducted yourself… and i believe that you've turned out into one very fine young woman. hang in there girl and take care.

  4. “You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
    You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
    Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
    You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
    Or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
    -David Harkins

    i love this poem. Thought u’d like it too.

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