Posted in m@dness

>The girl who grew up


I was on my way to work today morning, walking along the winding little lane peppered with tiny little houses that connects my house to the main road. I take that same road every morning, and everyday, I see a lot of activity along that route. Women waving out to hubands, men leaving for work on their big n small gaddis, little girls with neatly plaited hair setting out for school, dogs, chickens, an eerie little wayside temple with a black-stone idol, small stores (a quintessentially Indian phenomena), etc.

Today morning, while I was walking, I saw one little girl, with a blue colour dupatta on her head, tied into a neat long plait. She must’ve been about 5-6 years old.

Pretty much the same age, that I used to do such stuff. You wouldn’t believe if I said it now, but as a kid, I loved dressing up and doing girly stuff. I was 6 when I cried to dad to buy me my first churidar. And the doting dad that he is, got me one. I still remember it, it was green in colour with polka dots and i wore it like it was the ONLY dress I had!! I would show off pretty much at every occasion coz while everyone of my age wore skirts and frocks I would look big n mature in a churidar!

I also used to have chocolate boxes filled with my accessories- earrings, chains, bangles, hairclips and what not. Every dress had matching accessories. There was a gold chappal that I really took a fancy to, bought from fashion street in Bombay, where I spent most of my summers, all those years ago. I used to believe that it went with any dress that I wore. It was hideous, when I look back at the photos now! But that was an age where I felt that anything bright and shiny was beautiful. 🙂

Sunday afternoons, when everyone were having their routine siesta, I used to get to work. I would take out these boxes, meticulously put on the make-up (and trust me, I was pretty good at it. I knew what all had to be applied where, and in what amount), then I would take out my favourite green dupatta with the gold sequins at the edges, pin it up safely on to my hair, and plait it. That dupatta was like a friend, I always had it with me. Boredom was never an option for me, as long as I had my dupatta and make-up boxes and ‘other accessories’, as my dad used to call it. :)…

I miss that girl…somewhere along the way, adolescence took its toll, and scorn for that little girl set in. I abandoned all those accessories that were part of my girlhood, and opted to go for what was in style. I stopped wearing bangles and bindis and big earrings. My chaddi buddies still ask me, why I stopped wearing all that… Infact I changed so much that as time passed I became more and more the tomboy types.. It took a nice gentleman and a couple of great friends to remind me about my childhood hobbies and the pretty little gal I loved to be.

When I saw that girl today, all those memories just rushed back, and the first thing I did was call up dad and tell him. Because he had put up with all that the most, and nobody would understand it better. And you know, he has not thrown away a single one of those things that I cherished- right from the boxes of ‘fancy items’(just like supermarkets give me a high today, fancy stores used to be my fascination then), ribbons, hair-bands, clips, beads, to the bag of clothes that I’d stitched for my Barbie dolls( I was an aspiring fashion designer at one time)- everything is intact. He never asked me whether he can throw them away or not- he just continues to preserve them for me. For what reason, I know not.

This post is dedicated to my dad, for never making fun of that little girl or forcing her to grow up sooner than she ought to have.

Sometimes I wish I never grew up…



There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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