Posted in m@dness

Many times bitten, never shy!

“Who would want me as their friend? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.” 

Well, in a weird way, I’ve wondered that as well about myself.

It’s pretty much how life works. Right? We make friends and lose friends. But, then again, some people are distraught over this. Me? I never have been. I know I should be, but I’m not. Weird? Maybe.

I’ve never gotten upset about people coming and going in my life. This isn’t to say I don’t consider my friends unimportant or that I don’t care about them. I am very loyal when it comes to my friends and will defend them and take up for them when I need to do so.

Anyone who knows me knows how I am –  I’m a prick. I wonder how I still have friends a lot of the time. I can be hard to get along with sometimes. People sometimes don’t know how to take my humor. They aren’t sure if I’m joking or not. Sometimes even my friends that have known me since ages, are taken aback by the things that come out of my mouth. I just think that if you decide to consider me your friend, you should know what you’re getting into. You are eventually going to be a target of humor and ribbing. My friends don’t seem to mind this. That’s pretty much the basis of any one’s friendship with others.

Most of my friends I have kept for years, are used to me. Most of the time they just shake their heads and mutter, “Fuck you!” I don’t have many friends. I don’t have many friends because people are so sensitive and insecure and I know any little thing I say is going to rub them the wrong way and they are going to take it personally. Thanks, but no thanks. I’d much rather stick to having friends who know how to take a joke as just that… a joke.

I got off topic, anyway. I understand that we grow up and we grow apart. I was asked by someone if I’d be upset if for some reason I was no longer friends with a certain friend of mine. I didn’t have an answer. I don’t know still. This person is one of my best friends and has been for several years. Then again, I pretty much cut another person out of my life recently to whom I was extremely close and felt nothing about it. We grow up, we grow apart. No sense pissing and moaning about it. I shrug and say to myself. “Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Enjoy the rest of your life.” No big deal. Maybe that’s harsh of me, but that’s just how I am.

Hell, it may be a defense mechanism. Who knows? I just always keep my fingers crossed that no one asks me this question because I really don’t want to answer.

I don’t feel I need to sacrifice who I am and have always been because a friend doesn’t agree with it. I believe that as a friend, you should accept me as I am. My good and bad qualities. If you decide to exit my life then it really is no skin off my back. I’m not changing for anyone. I was told by someone a few months back that I am “not the gal she knew.” Well, obviously you didn’t know me well in the first place. Then again, you’re not the person I thought I knew either so I’d say we’re even.

P.S- In the words of my hero, “Apathy is the best therapy!”

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Author:

There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

One thought on “Many times bitten, never shy!

  1. thats nice ya I am so jealous.. . for me even if one friend stops talking to me i crib about it till that person gets fed up and starts talking to me again 😦
    but having said that…there have been friends whom I just cut off and it did bother for some time but then that feeling just disappeared…then it was like as though that friendship had just not existed ever….

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