When I start writing this the only thing that is hovered over my mind is that I am just being sheer nostalgic. I don’t really know how far would I go writing this but all I know is that I have this urge to pour out all what I feel at this moment somewhere for I know I cant talk to anyone about it. Not that I have isloated myself or something but sometimes the things that amuse me, happiness that I find in a minute situtaion might not be the very same for the opposite person. Why do I make them waste their hearing abilities in giving a ear to all the stuff which means zilch to them. But writing in here I know somewhere there might be a single soul who would at least figure themselves in my shoes. I know too very melodramatic, but I can be this way sometimes.
All what I say, write or do, depends on my mood. And it fluctuates terribly. I might be in a different mood, and when the pendulum is back to its starting point of oscillation, you find me different. My motive of writing this hasn’t been certain enough. I had no idea that I’ll end up writing here, for when I start, I think I am not a good writer, maintaining a blog isn’t something I should be doing. I really don’t know what I should be doing. I can talk, talk for hours, talk things of which someone would have never thought I have knowledge about. But sometimes there is this part in me which doesn’t know what to talk. Doesn’t have words to frame a sentence to thank someone who made me feel so special that my skull goes in a hypothetical coma. Puts me in a situation where I am all choked and all I know is that I want to convey what I actually feel but I cant. It is something like this that happened to me. The things he had said, produced this new kind of feeling within me which had never been sensed by me. Pride, I christened it. To be someone tiny in his life. That he is someone who plays an important role in my life, for what I am is a part of all the tiny things he thought me. For he is that part of my Alma Matter, that would never be forgotten, and will always be cherished. I know it is something I should be happy about, I should talk to. But the only person I always discussed this with seems to get a feeling that I am not a part of the aura that should surround him, so that hurts.