Posted in m@dness

Marriage and the Drama

“Why all the drama”
Now that’s just another dialogue from Sex and the City. But it’s something that has been playing in a loop in my head ever since my family has decided its time for me to get married. I know atleast a few of my friends who are in the same situation as me and so I really couldn’t help but posting something and researching a little on marriage.Its been brewing for a while, but what prompted the post was this last week, where I read not one, not two but five different posts on the subject of marriage. Three from women, two married, one single, one from a married man and the last from a guy on gay marriage! Marriage obviously seems to be on the top of the trending topics this week. And I find myself returning to the same phrase at the beginning, “Why? Why all this drama?”
To start with, a familiar phrase in articles on the subject is ‘Marriage is an Institution that needs to be revised.’ Now this leads me to ask, How? And more importantly who will do the revision? And also, do you really think we can lay down general rules for married people across the globe? I never quite understand, what they mean by this. A marriage, according to my humble understanding (yes, I tend to get sarcastic in the face of ignorant statements) is a relationship between two individuals. And that’s all it is. It is hopefully a lifelong relationship, sometimes unfortunately it is not. You could fight with this other person or you could get along real well. You could have those proverbial days when you know you still love the other person, but you might not be high on liking him or her. Sometimes you get irritated by the slightest things and you stalk off to find your personal space. But then if all is well, you come back to share your personal space with that person you’ve chosen to be married to. Now to me, this doesn’t seem like an institution. It seems pretty much like the bond that I have with my best friends or even my parents. Except for the fact that you cannot choose your parents. (But that’s another debate) How does this become an institution, which in my mind conjures up an image of a dusty grey building with crotchety old librarians? So does this mean that the people who believe this to be an institution are the ones who feel that all their personal interactions are institutions? If not, then why only marriage? Would love to hear from some of these people. I kid you not!
Second and unrelated to the above, yet still about marriage, and I’m sure my friends T and A would agree on this grouse is the one that  married people are subject to;  “You do not look married enough”. Now, I understand, ‘you’ve put on weight’ or ‘you’ve lost weight’ or even, ‘Good God woman! What have you done to your hair!’ But what is ‘You do not look married…’ and sometimes after the gap ‘Enough’ So how are the married women supposed to respond? No, really tell me O wise ones, how!
Next come the clichés. This is something all of you can try out. Type in ‘Cliches on marriage’ and take a look at the lines that come up. I even found one site which had around 900 cliches and one-liners only on the subject of marriage. And really corny ones, I must add. It seems like after blondes and Sardarjis, it’s the brides and the grooms and the husbands and wives who are subject to maximum cringing, thanks to the really cheesy jokes out there. And do not even get me started on the cracks on in –laws. Really people, why, oh why all the drama?
To me, at the end of the day, marriage is just another relationship between two human beings who’ve chosen to be together through the highs and the lows of living. And even if it’s not Disney perfect, these two people here below seem to be proof that there is hope for the rest of us. Provided the others stop with their pontification and try and solve other problems.
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Author:

There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

5 thoughts on “Marriage and the Drama

  1. Lol 🙂 yaaa . . Why all the drama?
    But, my dear, isnt this whole life turning into a drama??
    I agree with you in callin marriage a relationship between two ppl. And i too believe that the rules of a married relationship should be chosen by those two individuals.
    However, i think, the articles that we read on marriage are also important coz maybe, JUST a maybe, someone somewhere gets enlightened after reading those articles.

    Kind of like some style blogs that give a style tip of wearing an all black attire for a night out and adding a shot of contrast colour as some accessory. It’s like a normal girl wouldn know this. *rolling eyes*
    But, still they give such tips coz MAYBE someone out there is helped.

    Me thinks. 🙂

  2. nice post and are you tortured to accept ?? Don’t worry, we will do something like ajab prem ki ghazab kahanii introduction 🙂 🙂
    regarding revision, Elton John and few guys have revised it already 😛
    Marriage is not a relationship, i will call it as BOND, covalent bond not that surety bond :P, i am too little to comment on this marriage subject, yet i think we should do what we like, so we cant and we wont blame others for whatever happens..

    Do not worry 🙂 every good story has a prince to save a princess 😛
    http://deepakkarthikspeaks.blogspot.com

  3. Where did my page long comment go 😐

    Anyway,
    1) People are so sick of their own lives, hence they feel the need to ‘pontificate’ and interfere with everything, everyone else does.
    2) As for your ‘understanding’ on what marriage is, you should be put on a pedestal and made an example of to all those people out there who refuse to look at reality in the eye.
    3) I dread the fact that in three/four years from now, I’ll be in the same place you are and I’m not sure I’ll even try to be polite to anyone sticking their head where it’s not required. Admire your patience 🙂

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