Now that’s just another dialogue from Sex and the City. But it’s something that has been playing in a loop in my head ever since my family has decided its time for me to get married. I know atleast a few of my friends who are in the same situation as me and so I really couldn’t help but posting something and researching a little on marriage.Its been brewing for a while, but what prompted the post was this last week, where I read not one, not two but five different posts on the subject of marriage. Three from women, two married, one single, one from a married man and the last from a guy on gay marriage! Marriage obviously seems to be on the top of the trending topics this week. And I find myself returning to the same phrase at the beginning, “Why? Why all this drama?”
To start with, a familiar phrase in articles on the subject is ‘Marriage is an Institution that needs to be revised.’ Now this leads me to ask, How? And more importantly who will do the revision? And also, do you really think we can lay down general rules for married people across the globe? I never quite understand, what they mean by this. A marriage, according to my humble understanding (yes, I tend to get sarcastic in the face of ignorant statements) is a relationship between two individuals. And that’s all it is. It is hopefully a lifelong relationship, sometimes unfortunately it is not. You could fight with this other person or you could get along real well. You could have those proverbial days when you know you still love the other person, but you might not be high on liking him or her. Sometimes you get irritated by the slightest things and you stalk off to find your personal space. But then if all is well, you come back to share your personal space with that person you’ve chosen to be married to. Now to me, this doesn’t seem like an institution. It seems pretty much like the bond that I have with my best friends or even my parents. Except for the fact that you cannot choose your parents. (But that’s another debate) How does this become an institution, which in my mind conjures up an image of a dusty grey building with crotchety old librarians? So does this mean that the people who believe this to be an institution are the ones who feel that all their personal interactions are institutions? If not, then why only marriage? Would love to hear from some of these people. I kid you not!
Second and unrelated to the above, yet still about marriage, and I’m sure my friends T and A would agree on this grouse is the one that married people are subject to; “You do not look married enough”. Now, I understand, ‘you’ve put on weight’ or ‘you’ve lost weight’ or even, ‘Good God woman! What have you done to your hair!’ But what is ‘You do not look married…’ and sometimes after the gap ‘Enough’ So how are the married women supposed to respond? No, really tell me O wise ones, how!
Next come the clichés. This is something all of you can try out. Type in ‘Cliches on marriage’ and take a look at the lines that come up. I even found one site which had around 900 cliches and one-liners only on the subject of marriage. And really corny ones, I must add. It seems like after blondes and Sardarjis, it’s the brides and the grooms and the husbands and wives who are subject to maximum cringing, thanks to the really cheesy jokes out there. And do not even get me started on the cracks on in –laws. Really people, why, oh why all the drama?
To me, at the end of the day, marriage is just another relationship between two human beings who’ve chosen to be together through the highs and the lows of living. And even if it’s not Disney perfect, these two people here below seem to be proof that there is hope for the rest of us. Provided the others stop with their pontification and try and solve other problems.