Posted in close to heart

Baby Talks

Don’t get fooled by this…

This post is dedicated to all my girl pals and to those of em who have become moms and to the would be mom’s.

Conversation 1

This was a conversation we had in Class 3(Age:8)
“Do you know why we are all so attached to our mothers?” Carmel Miss asked

I considered the question too unworthy to answer as I was more ‘attached’ to my father. So I concentrated on trying to pull Aparna’s hair.(Aparna- A friend, then. Now, a girl who used to sit in the seat before me in class.)

“The umbilical cord is the link. We were all once attached to our mothers through that. Now it’s the heart that continues the legacy”.

“What cord?” Aparna asked me. “Which part of the body is she talking about?”

I pressed my finger to her navel and tickled her. “There”.
She giggled.
Carmel Miss frowned.

“I finally know from where babies come”, said Aparna.

Oops! I stopped what I was doing. I was the educator. And I wasn’t too sure. I knew the region but not the location.

Lifting her shirt she pointed to her navel, “This cord thing, it’s like a door. First the baby is inside and when its ready- it kicks. You can open it and take it out. And…” she paused for emphasis, “You have to cut the cord. You can’t walk about with a baby dangling can you?”

 Conversation 2

This was while I was doing my graduation. (Age: 17 going on 18)

Girl talks during college was survival. What a time it was. In hostel, during my first year, we were a gang of  5. It was a group comprising of The Educator(Me), The Know it Alls( D, another D and N)and The Dummy(V). Our conversations mostly revolved around  all the know how on ahem ahem you know…the birds and the bees.

On One such Day:

“ Ugh I cannot even think of getting married”, said V.

“ Why is that? It is such a nice thing to have someone to share your life with”, asked D.

“Ya ya that is nice but see, if you get married, you have to have kids right. And the thought that my kid will have to go undergo such a torture is not nice to think about”, said V.

“What torture? You have to play around with your husband a little bit and then you have to go through the torture dumdum, not your kid”, I shot back.

Getting up from her bed and walking to D, pointing her backside, V wailed“ Noooo. My kid has to come through shit hole na. Poor thing. After those many months of sleeping inside the cave in my stomach. Imagine its plight when it realises it came from my backside/shit hole!!!!”

And by god, what a laugh we all had that day!

 

Conversation 3:

A conversation during Post Graduation (Age: 21-22)

 

The 4 of us was a talk of the hostel for the things we used to do, for the messes we were never caught for and for enjoying life at the same time scoring marks: Tee, Gij, Tan n Me.

So while supposedly studying for a VIVA, we were discussing on bollywood and the steamy scenes they have when Gij suddenly said,

“How do these heroines go around kissing men like this? Don’t they realise how much of a risk they are taking. No wonder heroines eventually get married to these heroes only.”

The three of us knew it was going to be Gij’s day that day. And while Tan n me were already laughing, Tee managed to ask Gij, between the giggles, “n why do you say that?”

We burst out laughing with her answer which was,

“ Don’t these dumb girls know that you can have babies just by kissing?”

I cannot but laugh thinking that while a 22 year old did not know the story of how babies were made, then. My 6 year old niece, now asks me, “ Mai, do you know I came out through amma’s stomach through the hole down there?”

Ah… Baby talks!

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Author:

There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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