On April 13.2012, Shah Rukh Khan was detained at an Airport in New York for over two hours. He was there at New York to give a speech at Yale. The conversation given below is purely fictional, though it is related to living people. Hence resemblance to people mentioned here are but natural. Enjoy!“Name?” “SRK” “Passport?” Passenger hands the immigration officer his passport. Officer opens the cover page, reacts with alarm.
“Hold on a second. Says here your name is ‘Khan’. You just told me your name is ‘Essar Kay’. Which is it,
‘Kay’ or ‘Khan’?”
“My name is Khan. But you can call me SRK. Everyone does.”
“I’ll call you what it is says in your passport, Mr Khan. When was your last trip to Iran?”
“Iran? Not much of a film industry-…never been there.”
“You look Iranian to me. And you got an Iranian name – Shah.”
“I’m Indian, not Iranian.”
“Whatever. Purpose of your visit?”
“I’m going to Yale.”
“Where’s your student visa?”
“No, not as a student. But an understandable mistake… I do look half my age. I’m going there to lecture.”
“Then if you’re a real Indian you should have an H-1B. Let’s see it.”
“It’s just one lecture. I’m not even getting paid!”
“Letter of invitation?”
“Sure, that I can show you!”
Passenger pulls out a piece of paper, hands it to the officer.
Date: April 2, 2012
Subject: FW: Uncle 2 Yale?
Please see the email below. Hope you can make it. You can take my plane. My people advise to land at a small airport. We don’t want a repeat of what happened to you last time at Newark!
—-Begin forwarded message—-
Date: April 1, 2012
Subject: Uncle 2 Yale?
Wud b gr8 if uncle can come here to give a talk. Can you ask him? Plz?
Officer looks up at the passenger, and says with growing exasperation.
“First of all, Mr Khan, this is an email, not a letter. Second, it doesn’t even have your real name on it. Third, it’s from your niece, not from an official at Yale.”
“She is most certainly an official at Yale – president of the highly influential South Asian Society. But she’s not my niece, I’m just her uncle and my wife is her aunty.”
“What do you do for a living, Mr Khan?”
“I’m an actor. And a game show host. And I own a cricket team – like your baseball teams.”
“Cricket? Those guys should wear gloves – it would be a lot easier to catch the ball.”
“I shall take that fine suggestion up with the IPL rules committee. But cricket is just an investment for me. I’m really an actor.”
“I only ever seen one Indian movie and you weren’t in it.”
“Let me guess, Slumdog Millionaire?” “Yeah. Good flick.”
“That’s one of the game shows I hosted!”
“Really? Then why should I let you into my country? The way you treated that poor kid was terrible.”
“No, you don’t understand – that was just the movie! I was the host in real life.”
Officer opens the passenger’s passport again and types something into his computer. The screen begins flashing. He looks up at the passenger and grasps the handle of his sidearm.
“Come with me, Mr Khan.”
The scene shifts to a large waiting room. At one end of the room the passenger is seated alone at a row of plastic chairs. At the other end the immigration officer confers in hushed tones with his supervisor.
“Hey boss, I got this Iranian guy here with an Indian passport, claiming to be a movie star. He’s a quadruple hit on the terrorist watch database!”
“Why the hell is he at our little airport?”
“He flew here in a private jet, boss. From India, or so he says. Allegedly on his way to give a lecture at Yale – showed me some BS email invite from his niece!”
“He ain’t going nowhere on my watch. Did you check his shoes?”
Phone rings. He answers.
Hello..yes, good afternoon, sir! [Pause] Right away, we’ll take care of it. [Pause] OK, just doing our jobs, sir. Goodbye, sir.”
“That was the big man in Washington. Apparently your Iranian is legit. The president of Yale called homeland security to vouch for him.”
“OK, boss. I’ll let him through right away. But there’s still something I don’t like about that guy.”
Read the full article on: Economic Times