Posted in m@dness

As old as it gets

Last evening, I spotted a strand of white on his bald hed. I’ve known him since i was 4, and the first signs of greying made me feel weird. We’ve grown up together, but growing old…is definitely different. He has always been bald. But there were a few strands of here and there that convinced me he wasnt born bald. Those few stray hair he had was black. On a few occasions that I have cornered him, he has confessed that he had dyed them a few times just to make him look young. Little did he know that to me, he was the most adorable person I had ever met.

I have always wondered, even when I was a little kid, what it must feel like to be old, to have grandchildren and to not feel young any longer.When I’d see my grandmother’s withered skin and snow white hair, it was difficult to imagine she could have ever been young. But her sepia toned pictures from younger days made me think about what I would look like when I grew old. I even remember asking her how she felt at 60, how it felt at 60. I don’t remember what she said but it wasn’t good enough for me to not think about how I’d be at that age!

And honestly, I feel old already – older than a lot of adults around me. 😦 And I already wish I was younger by at least 5 years! And I still wonder what I will look like when I grow old, what I will be like. Will I be lonely and cranky/ content and caring/ sick and senile – what?When are they ever going to invent something that would tell us exactly what we would look like when we are old! Bah!

When I see him ageing, it scares me. I see he’s no longer able to walk that fast, his body give up sooner than they used to, his joints ache and hurt once in a while.hE seems to be more prone to diseases.. He’s not the same and it bothers me sometimes. I’m selfish and I don’t ever want him to grow old!

I don’t want to live forever, but I’d rather die young than grow painfully old. Maybe, I’m a silly coward not prepared for life as it is. Maybe 60 will seem younger when I’m there! I hope so…



There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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