So well, I thought why wait till new year to update. Its About to be july, so might as well have a Half Yearly Update! (Yes, sometimes working in a hard core sales company, can make you like this. Well, actually I wanted to write today and didnt get anything to write about..so my mind said this.)
And really, what an year it has been! Though I didn’t get to doing what I had resolved to at the beginning of 2012 , in retrospect, the year gone by has been one of new beginnings in some ways.
Well I have been plannin on starting something on my own for quite sometime and will hopefully start something by end of this year. And yes, all this without informing my family.(P.S- Any of my family members reading this,, please ignore!). However I also started ona few things that I wasnt too sure will work out for the best.Of course, there was regret for some time .But my new endeavors seems to be getting me much more than I had bargained for: its bringing me respect for my hard work and perseverance, my innovation and intelligence, love and affection from people who hadn’t seen that side of me. And it definitely matters to me.
Interestingly, five years ago when someone asked me where I imagined myself five years later, I’d said “As my own boss”. I am getting there..soon!
I compensated for the writing I had given up by blogging almost everyday. And l love being here. No, it’s not as addictive as it used to be, and no, there aren’t half as many readers for it as I want there to be, but it’s okay. Maybe, my readers just don’t like to leave comments. Maybe, they just don’t know I exist. Or maybe, I’m so boring. But really, now it’s okay.
Because I’ve grown up. And not. All at the same time. I’ve left a lot of people behind, not as in a race, but as in emotionally, mentally. They used to bother me at one time of my life. Now, they don’t exist for me at many levels. It’s sad too that you’ve hardened yourself against people you once cared for, but it’s relieving. I feel freer.
I have new friends too, some who are absolutely new, some who I knew for a while but got close to recently, some who are Hi-Bye friends, some of whom I have made an army out of: my warriors!
But in another way, I’ve lost the freedom to trust blindly. There always is a hint of suspicion lurking below the facade of faith. And it kills my joy, breaks my heart and leaves me bitter. Was this part of growing up too? I guess so.
I’m still learning that people don’t belong to us, that we don’t belong to people. It’s a tough lesson, but life doesn’t give you many options but to understand it sooner than later. That’s why 20111-12 has been a year of learning.
However, it has been a good year. I’ve done a whole lot of things I love to: eat good food, buy good shoes and lots of them, wear good clothes, spend good times with friends and family, get
drunk socializing, earn money, live a good life. I could have travelled more, read more books, exercised more. But hey its not the end of 2012 yet!
When I look back at the months gone by, I’m glad it leaves me more happy than sad: because I lived every moment of it. I laughed and cried, loved and hated with equal passion – because I realised that my passion is for life.