A few weeks ago, a conversation I had with psycho, kinda got me thinking about this entity called love. I am turning
25 27 this September! I have definitely had my share of love in the past. So much so that I am now totally skeptical and cynical about that thing called love. When two people fall in love and (maybe) decide to get married, how much of their lives and themselves are they willing to share with each other? At the very obvious level, couples share their thoughts, their feelings, their emotions. At another level, they share the space they live in, the bed they sleep in, the bathrooms they use. But there’s some bit of the sharing that goes beyond the essential. Like sharing parts of your life you wouldn’t let anyone else.
I guess every couple just draws their own line of what’s acceptable, what’s not. I think that where the line is drawn depends largely on how much space you need for yourself, how much of it you’re willing to give up comfortably. Like some people are totally okay with sharing all their passwords with each other – for their mail and FB accounts, ATM cards, e-banking stuff and what have you.
Me? I wouldn’t give up being the individual I am( I did it once and am just getting myelf back. Don’t ever change yourself for anybody, don’t ever do it for anyone!), even if it’s online, to be just a couple. And no, I don’t think it’s a deficit of trust, or a desire to conceal. It’s just that I need to be myself before I can start being someone’s wife, daughter, whatever. I do know of couples though who totally (and happily) eat into each other’s space like they didn’t exist as individuals before. They have the same friends – if you can’t get along with both, you can’t be friends with either. They eat out of a single plate, share the same opinions, the same sense of humour, the same sense of outrage – you get the drift. And that’s because they’re so much in love with each other. Because by some inflated notion of love, that’s what lovers do – cease thinking independently, start mirroring each other’s reactions and think that any voice of dissent must mean that they’re out of love. Really? No, seriously, is that it? Because that would mean I’ve never quite been in love. Do you have to have an identical other half in your partner to be certified ‘in love’?
I would really have a man who is going to let me be myself. Love me for the silly goose that I am and accept me just the way I love to be rather than someone who would just eat into my life and not give me the space to live my life. The question is, are there men like that these days or do they all have that twisted notion of love?
Haa so back to my notion of looveee (Its my blog so its about me, deal with it. Hihihihhi)
Though I still gush at Cine Romances and flutter when I see a couple totally in love, I cannot imagine me being In love, again. Like M told me the other day, its now going to be one meeting and lets get married scenario. No No not the movie kind of proposal and stuff but really there aint going to be infinite mushy messages or exchange of mmwaaaaahhhs on the phone or sing song romances. It has to be like I meet the guy and guy meets me, we meet and talk and decide that’s it.Haaaaaa I wish I was younger, just to enjoy romance.
All this does not mean, I am old or unromantic. I will definitely be the hopeless romantic I once was as soon as I find my man. If ever I find one that is 😉