Posted in m@dness

Do we just accept Adultery and Infedility

Something that I chanced upon got me thinking the other night. I have been hearing quite a few stories n facts about people cheating on their partners and two timing and all that I realised that we go through our social lives pretending that these things don’t happen with people we know. We pretend that the “other woman” who is always seen with the couple is just a friend when we know she isn’t. We pretend that the reason why we’ve distanced ourselves from the boy whom we used to call a friend is not that he’s been cheating on his girl. We pretend it doesn’t bother us when it evidently does. And how can it not? Can we be so broadminded so as to not care that our friend’s partner may be cheating ?

Apparently, I’m not supposed to raise my eyebrows in surprise when I hear that someone’s wife/girl has been sleeping around with someone else. I’m supposed to mind my own business, ignore and not get judgemental. But these are not people I read about in magazines, these are not people I see in the paper. It’s not like I’m not talking about Saif Ali Khan leaving his wife for a younger Kareena. These are people I know, whom I meet, who’ve spentt time with. How can I not judge them?

Tell me also, how I can see married people hooking up with their friends’ wives/husbands and be okay with it? And dismiss the whole thing by saying, “What’s new?” I wasn’t brought up to think adultery is okay and I’m finding it hard to condition myself to believe that. And if it is acceptable to me – all this adultery that I see around me – I shouldn’t be surprised if it happens to me as well.

There used to be a time when I felt secure in the knowledge that no matter how much somebody flirted with my man or he flirted with women, they would know when to stop because they’d know that he’s in a relationship. Or that my man would know when to stop. I felt safe indulging in some harmless flirting myself because I thought nobody would misconstrue it to be anything else but that – harmless flirting. But I can no longer look at the picture the same way – because it seems so easy for people to take that flirting just a little bit forward and then still more till it becomes something totally unacceptable – for me at least.

It doesn’t matter how many incidents of this kind I see or hear of – it will still be something that evokes mixed emotions in me: from anger and surprise to bewilderment and repulsion. Two wrongs don’t make a right. And just because someone’s wife chooses to ignore how her husband manages his mistress, and someone’s husband is okay with his wife having a physical relationship with another man doesn’t mean it should be okay for me too. I mean, there has to be a full stop somewhere, some place where we draw the line and say no more.I still attach some amount of sanctity to the institution of marriage. And even though I understand it’s futile to be in a loveless marriage or that a marriage may be beset with other more complicated problems leading people to act the way they do, I do not understand adultery. And such blatant display of it as I see around me now is unsettling.

I can give my man as much space as he wants but I can’t give him enough space to go ahead and find a girl friend for himself when am around and when he is in a relationship with me. I will be jealous if he showers one woman with too much attention and I will be insecure if that woman makes eyes at him. Even if it’s all in jest! I will not have someone swooning over my man and be proud he’s so charming. I might be a little proud but I’ll also be a typical wife and make sure that that someone keeps her distance from him. My relationship with my man is still not so evolved that I’d be able to share him with another woman. And I don’t think it ever will be. Thankfully.

P.S- Well I was just disturbed with a conversation I had with a friend whoo was telling me how adultery is too common these days and how people have started to take it lightly.



There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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