I have always been the kind of person who believes if you are working it just has to be for the right reasons or else you will never be able to be satisfied even if your salary is sky high. I have told people this time and again but never been able to practice it. Not that I dont want to but because I am still confused.
When I heard yesterday that a much younger friend had taken a second sabbatical from work in the last 2 years and that another friend was contemplating quitting her job the second time in 3 years, I was tempted – to give up my job, put up my legs and say I’ve retired, temporarily at least.
What’s stopping you, people who know me would ask. And I have no answers. There seems to be no reason to be going to work, especially since I seem to be spending most of my wondering what can I do till 5:30 pm and blogging. My office is a small one with about 120 odd people working in it. Everyone knows their job and hates to be told what to do. They are the people who believe that there really is no need of an HR in any company. And also because I now have enough people in my office taking care of everything that could possibly ask taking care of. My presence in office serves the purpose of ensuring everyone does their work, reports to duty on time, checking late comers, controllling absenteeism and the regular HR jobs – and they say that’s no mean job either – but it all leaves me unprecedented-ly idle. How do I handle all the free time I suddenly seem to have at hand? My work experience of working in an MNC for 2 years did not prepare me for this. Yet I cannot seem to part from a routine that’s on the verge of becoming monotonous. I cannot give up my financial independence, that feeling of knowing I’ve worked for the pleasures I enjoy (at least some of them).
My work life has been such an integral part of who I am that people scoff at me if I say I want to take a break. I don’t blame them – I just have been so passionate about my work all these years, enjoyed the challenges and enjoyed even more winning them – for not being able to imagine me without my workspace. My family shudders at the idea of having me home full time; they say I wouldn’t survive a week. Friends says it’s impossible for me to be a full time home-body. Perhaps they are right: And perhaps they are wrong: I have planned a month or two of focussing on doing something I love to do. Getting back into shape, Travelling, Taking up photography etc And who says I ought to be doing something all the time? What I’m sure of though is that I need something more than others’ expectations of me to keep me going. I need a new challenge or I need a break. My mind keeps telling me that if I dont take a break now, I really moght not be able to do it after I “settle” down in life( Read: marriage)
Of course, there’s a lone voice – that of chech – telling me to understand my true calling. And I haven’t the faintest idea what that could be, how I’m supposed to arrive at it and then pursue it. I haven’t ever taken any calcualted risks in my career, just been spurred ahead by the desire to do something new and exciting, test unchartered territory. Yeah that explains learning Psychology and then HR and then working in recruitment and then jumping into Sales And Marketing and then back to HR.And yet, there is this urge to get back to living life the way I used to. Care free and free spirited. Doing things I wanted to do. I could and I can’t. Sometimes going back is so much tougher than going forward. How can I reclaim the past that has given me up? How can I find the future that I’m waiting for?
N work they say is W