Posted in m@dness

O god, Please tell me!

Disclaimer; Now just because I have been writing a post too many on praying and stuff does  NOT make me OLD!I am just getting more and more in touch with my spiritual self!
When we pray, what do we pray for? Do we ask God to give us everything or do we ask Him to give us what we badly require? Do we just irritate Him all the time with our never-ending problems, or we just wait, watch and see what He has in store for us? Me, I have started telling him to take away everything else thats not meant to be mine and leave me ONLY with whats meant to be mine! At times I interrogate myself in between prayers. “Should I ask Him to solve this and this problem for me?” “Maybe I shouldn’t ask too much. I sound too demanding!“. Some might say that you have to ask everything openly — demand your rights; get your word out there and stuff. That if you don’t voice what you want, how will He know?
I remember as a kid, I used to ask God to assist me first-hand whenever I was at a crossroad. Before flipping a coin I used to ask Him – “Ok now… Heads is what I want, so tell me if I will get what I want okay?”. Secretly I try to bribe Him – “If you make the coin show Heads up first, I will come and see you at the temple today!”. He didn’t somehow like the bribing and I always happened to see the opposite side of the coin. Then I go – “Damn. God is too busy processing other coin flipping matches now. Maybe I should try later’. Then I keep flipping the coin till I get “what I want” after which yours truly is a very happy lady. (Now I am beginning to understand that it was a sign. He was telling me, try try try till you actually get what you want!!!)This is basically how I used to pray back then – with bribes and by using tools to get indirect answers from the almighty. I mean He can’t really scream out from heaven in response to my questions (that’s so ungodly like no?), so I might as help Him out by giving some medium through which He can answer. “O god please tell me” , coin flipping, paper chits, dice — all of these were used to “get an answer”. Sometimes I get tempted to try all that again. But considering my success rate with the same, I rather not. I think God has already given His answer when it comes to using such techniques. See, even He doesn’t like dirty politics !
Some preach that no matter how much you pray you will only end up with what He thinks is right for you. And I’m a believer of this. Because of this belief, I have always restricted myself from placing too many demands while praying or getting too upset when something doesn’t go the way I want it to. However, these days I have pressure from a lot of things and people. I cant figure out what or where my life is headed to. Right now, I cannot even toss coins and take chits coz I really have no choice exactly. I can only pray that things tune themselves and that I be able to find some kind of clarity to my life soon!
I just came across this prayer by Rabindranath Tagore and I feel it befits a person who thinks the same way I do — a person who never demands anything in particular, but just strength to deal with everyday problems.

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield,
but to my own strength.

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.

Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;

But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.”

Eat, Pray, Love, people… and stay happy, always!
And if prayer doesn’t help… Have a chocolate!!!


There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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