Posted in m@dness

Whats it like to be you?!

 “We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”

As someone who is running 25 26, I have to admit I am an adult who got mind stuck at around 18 n no one knows better what it means to live such a schizophrenic life. With your friends you’re the sometimes giggly sometimes gloomy gal, with your family its another character, with your “gang” you turn into a crazy monkey and at a social service club, the sober intellectual with invisible spectacles!
So, whats it like to be yourself or rather what does it mean to be yourself? To be consistent in your behaviour and body language?
To me, being yourself is being consistent in your basic ideologies and principles at all times! It means sticking by your word, no matter what!
A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with G regarding an old friend. He was wondering why I wasn’t best buddies with that girl because we were real close while at school. A friend who used to be my best friend. I had to let her go when I realized that she was going against my principles. I have always, always stood against  infidelity. I have seen its effects and its been a strict NO NO for me. My best pals and friends know of the same and I still stand strong n rooted to it. I couldn’t change my opinion for anything in the world and when she cheated on my friend, I knew it was time I let her go.She thought I’d stand by her but I didn’t, I couldn’t. She had different views of life n so did I. I could have turned a blind eye towards what she had done and still had her as my best friend but that would have been me being spineless and hypocritical in my books. I lost her and her friendship and have never found anyone else in her place but I can’t help it. Yes, we talk but its just words.
I don’t see how your behaviour with every single person in your life has much to do with “being yourself”. You relate to every single person in a different manner, don’t you?With friends you aren’t the same as you are with family. Or can you?! You can’t possibly treat every single person in your life as cattle trains. Laugh at every joke every person in your life cracks, scream at one as mindlessly as you can at the other. They’re all different, they all deserve a relatively unique place in your life. So, it’s okay to be one person with your friend, and another with your parents.That’s what I believe to be correct. Theoretically, at least, it sounds okay to me.
The question is doesn’t that make you a little schizophrenic in the end? A little confused about who you really are? A tiny bit disillusioned with people, expectations, morality?
When and how do we come to terms with who we really are at the core? Do we ever?????

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.”


There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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