Posted in m@dness

It was good while it lasted

Some relationships are too good to be true. If someone was to tell me they met over the Internet and fell in love, I’d smile an indulgent smile, patronizing nods and feel superiorly intelligent.

But it need not be only love you know…

How things change. How I change. You can have a great conversation, feel warm, feel cared, care in return and you stop every once in a while feeling vaguely out of breath. A time and an evening without him narrating the events of the day, his callousness and arrogance overriding the sound of the cooker while I cook, cannot be imagined.

You form various zig zagged patterns of friends, classmates and people you know. You have passed the same street signs, you’ve eaten in the same restaurants, you’ve sat hours in the same places- but at different points of time. And even if they did intersect- you didn’t know. You talk about all that and wonder… you could’ve easily missed knowing this person again. He could have been just another old friend who you met online and whom you brushed past. He could’ve been just another person you met at some social event in your life and you could’ve easily missed.

But and instead, you met. Over a surreal world of words and pictures. Of messages and phone calls.

It happened to me too. Every once in a while I’d stop and shake my head with incredulity- something as beautiful as this could not be happening in my life. Not my life surely. But it did. And those premonitions and fey feelings would firmly be brushed aside. I deserve to be happy and blissfully so- I’d convince myself.

Untouched happiness, because it happened in a way not known before. I hugged my joy- it hovered right around my fingers.

Everything ends. This did too. When you least expected it. I never saw it coming, the fool I always am. And will be. Yet another scar.



There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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