Posted in close to heart

Memory of a goodbye

Hey Big B, I know you used to secretly read my blog and I hope you still do from up there. I miss you. I know you’d have been there with Das running around and doing stuff with him, for him. He misses you too. He tells me that. Often. I know you’d have loved talking to Ro. You would have loved him. He would have loved you too. I know that for a fact. I miss you. All this would have been more exciting and so much more fun had you been around to give me that push. I have had friends other than you but nobody like you. I know you are watching me from up there and smiling. Grinning actually. Ugh!

People must move on is what everybody says when I talk about you. Nobody really knows what we shared. Even we didnt! And then you had to go. Not to any place on the map but to the world beyond.

The last time I saw you alive, you were laughing at me and saying bye with your hands from inside the car. Captains car. The next time I saw you, it wasnt really you. It was just a body which was cut and sewed. I don’t remember too many details of that October day because it is too painful to hold on to but yes I remember that clean, close and swift, were the words that came into my mind as I realised the silvery blade of a goodbye descend.

Thats how endings should be. No remnants.

Unlike me. I’m still saying goodbye to a person long gone.

Pray for me…stand by me…hold my hand…..wherever you are. I miss you.



There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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