Posted in close to heart, m@dness

Move on

Its that one rule life tries to tell us during trying times. Move on. Its easier said than done though. I have lost quite a number of people to both fate and death in the years that I’ve walked on earth. I have tried to make up for the loss of these people in my life as well as in the lives of others whose world’s they occupied. In most occasions I have failed miserably. Nobody can take the place of someone else. Nobody. Period.
That said, something has been in my mind for a few days now. It could be because of the nostalgia that came after reading  a post on my brother’s blog. My father raised me alone. It was him all the way. I say all the way because although there were family and friends to help out at one point or the other, for most parts(read:95%) of my formative years , it was him. For a man to bring up a girl , i am sure would’ve been a herculean task. I know for sure because I have seen the stress and  effort Ro takes when he has to manage ami for a few hours!  So imagine about 24 years!  Things were different and difficult for the three of us; my dad, brother and me. Boys are more closer to the mother abd girls to their dads. I could tell my dad everything but he and my brother always had that line between them. Always.
A neighbor passed away recently due to an illness. A nasty illness that too. She left behind 2 boys aged 8 and 3 maybe. I wasn’t too close to her nor the family. However when i heard of it, I cried my heart out. Partly for nostalgia and partly for the boys. Their family is huge. Grandparents and uncles and aunties and cousins and friends and so many others. Would that be enough for the boys? Will they be able to bond with their father and tell him every small detail of their lives? Would he care to listen? The truth is that we’ll all grieve. For a long long time. We’ll never be tbe same again. We’ll heal in bits and pieces and we’ll slowly learn to live with the loss..the void..the space in our hearts. Forever.
I have thought about speaking to the family time and again and convincing them to let that man marry again, but I have been overpowered by the typical mind-your-own-business mentality. Will he get him self another wife? Will they ever be happy again? I pray they do. Those boys and that man deserves happiness in their life.
I asked myself this question: if I were to die unexpectedly.. would I want to see Ro and ami happy? Would i want to see Ro married again? Ami calling someone else AmmA? Yes. I’d want to. I would love to make sure that they are taken care of well in my absence. I am pretty sure every person up there wants their loved one to remain happy. Happy doesn’t  mean forgetting.  Does it?

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Author:

There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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