Posted in m@dness

note in the mood-29

Its a Saturday morning. I am feeling good, after a long time. I mean eons. We have been walking for a long time and I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. Distant and faint but I can see it. We have been through hell last year and even now, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if we really did survive.A year back, exactly a year back, I would wake up in the middle of the night, frightened, look around and start crying. I’d look at the 2 souls sleeping next to me and wonder what would happen to them, to us. As I write this, just thinking of it, I am getting goosebumps. I woke up last night too, sweating furiously. And then I looked around and smiled. It was all going to be over soon.

My prayers have been answered. A new ray of hope has fallen on my soul and filled me with a light so bright I can no longer see my yesterday. My very sorry yesterday. Now all I see is tomorrow. A beautiful tomorrow. And so I’ve decided to put away all the worrying, consciously. Nothing I’ve done so far as been planned. Call it destiny or by any other name, but every where I’ve been so far is where life has taken me, not where I’ve wanted or decided to go. Everything I’ve done has been what has happened, not my actions out of a deep desire to act so. Life for me has been a journey without a destination. To put it short, I’ve just been flowing with the tide. And now I am going to ride the tide.

*Touch Wood.7673275_orig




There is a deep and cosmological connection between my birth, my parent's decision to name me what they did, my profession and my education. This brings me to the conclusion that fate is predetermined and like in Hindu mythology, is written by Brahma when someone is born. Example: My name is unique. I did my grads in Psychology. I then did my masters in HR (offshoot of following all the psychos). I then did the ultimate decision of joining an MNC in ............. beat it, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. So, I have the concept 'MAD' in my name, my education, my choice of career and all the milestone decisions of my life. Now, is it predetermined or what ? :-D

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