Posted in m@dness

Blog Not!

Disclaimer: This applies ONLY if you are planning to get into an arranged marriage. Now before you go ahead and say that you have absolutely no plans whatsoever to get into one, let me tell you that neither did I! 😉

We all know how powerful the social media can be! You can increase the number of blog followers, traffic etc etc by just posting your blog link to your Twitter, Facebook or Orkut profile. Few years back, I felt the need to bring forth my blog to a larger audience and like many others ended up putting my blog link on social networking sites. Then came the time when I reached (*shy is coming*) a marriageable age and my family couldn’t just wait to get rid of me.

Proposals were are coming, and somehow whenever a new proposal comes in I could see an increase in my blog traffic. All of a sudden I would get hyper thinking my blog has finally got the recognition it rightfully deserves! Alas, i figured(after a talk with a more intelligent friend) that those were all from the same source at precisely the time when the proposals were doing rounds:( Somehow the grin gets swiped off my face and I wait for the meet up with the prospective groom(not that I have met any yet but come on these are all possiblities ryt) to be only asked the question – “So you blog eh?”. Oh duh!

Nothing wrong in that question, you might say.But what if he blabbers on and on about your life? No conversation happens. He already knows everything — Mr. know-it-all. And he wants justifications to all your posts – “Why did you say that? What did you mean by that?” And you just go “Errrr!” with wide eyed innocent eyes not knowing that simple posts on marriage would bring so much of controversy in the future!

I need not tell you that once a proposal comes in, the guy/girl searches for your profile on social networking sites to find out the ugly truth about you. My cousin who smokes as if there’s no tomorrow had mentioned he’s a non-smoker on his marriage profile, but on his Orkut profile he had mentioned ‘occasionally’. Even if you intend to lie, do it properly — remember not to forget about the different lies you tell to different people! Note them down, if necessary. And it’s best to tell the same lie to different people so that you need not remember to whom you told the dreaded lie to. Similarly if need be, make it a point to mention that you’re a non-smoker in ALL of your social networking site profiles. Oh well, just so that you know(in case you are planning to bring an alliance for me) i dont mind if the Nair Boy drinks but yes I’d hope he aint a chain smoker:)

Coming back to the point, prospective brides and grooms search social networks to know more about you. If they see you hugging 3 or 4 people of the opposite sex, you are going to get a bad impression and probably you would end up getting rejected. I mean, most of us want to be the one and only. We don’t want to land up in your next profile picture as ‘one’ among the many. Aaah.. you see the reason behind all the various rejections now doncha? 😀 Remove that picture.. NOW! Oh then again me, I’d look at it like my nair boy is not an anti social psycho! But yeah thats just me eh.

While scanning your profile, nothing could interest the prospective bride or groom more than a personal blog. More juicy details for them, more embarrassing consequences for you. They will read and read — almost every post of yours — and will form an impression about you even before they meet you. That’s not very good, no?

So here’s what you Should Do Before Getting Married:

Remove your blog link from all social networking sites

Remove ‘blogging’ from your interests. Some smart asses will even try to google for your blog if they find out that you are a passionate blogger.

And here’s what you Shouldn’t Do Before Getting Married:

Give your blog link away in the first meet up itself. It’s better to talk to him directly about your life, no? Why limit your conversations? ;D

Ok, enough of the gyaan! You now know what’s best for you. Remember, this applies only for people who have entered a marriageable age and are thinking of getting into an arranged marriage. Rest of you can read and blog in peace. Amen.

P.S- Or maybe you should just let it be and let time take its course:) What say you?

P.P.S- I didnt know what picture would go here so…

Posted in m@dness

When I got thinking

When you get a holiday on a working day, what do you do? Me… I cook, read, watch TV and above all think. I’ve been thinking, about nothing in particular, and everything in general. The outlook is rather grim, for some reason. I’m not very clear as to what that reason is. I suspect it is more because of self indulgence than any concrete malady. So, now, I obviously have to overanalyze it. Goodness, this blog must be the most mixed up collection of crap in the world. Or maybe not. Lets not be presumptuous so early in the day.

Sorrow, pain, misery. It has some sort of strange glamour attached to it. The songs that touch us the most are the ones that speak of loss, and unrequited emotions, and what could have been. Just look at that very astute index of human emotions, the old Orkut(Remember Orkut?? The life before Facebook) profile. So, what did you learn from your past relationship? More often than not, never to trust anyone (girls, in particular, seem to be the most heinous offenders of the heart). Its a not too obtuse way of hinting at a broken heart, a tragedy that lends some texture to life. I call it the Meena Kumari Syndrome(MKS). That esteem able lady made a career out of speaking in a low, sad voice and drinking along. I’ve always laughed (secretly) at people(including myself) lost in sorrows of their own making. Laughing on their faces gives them an opportunity to feel misunderstood, and the pain just keeps increasing.

Recently, it looked like a variant of MKS had come to bite me. This particular variety of the disease makes one angsty and blue for no paricular reason, and manifests in a huge jump in the number of thoughts whirling around in the brain, till the head wants to explode and the heart wants to take a nap. The only reason that seemed to justify this bout of the blues was that my plan wasn’t working out. Which plan, you ask? The Plan. The outline of what life is supposed to be like, the one that I’d worked out when I had when I was just about 8, which was going horribly awry. All of yesterday(or most of last night) I tortured myself (and Das) being listless and listening to bad music, loitering around the house talking to myself. Today I decided that I’d had enough. I wrote down The Plan on a sheet of paper, and threw it out in the trash(No I didnt burn n flush it like Kareena in Jab We Met. Maybe I should have). Symbolism, very profound. I don’t care, The Plan can take a hike in the garbage truck. If I’m gonna be inflicted with MKS, I’m gonna own up to it and not hide behind silly reasons like The Plan. And the next time you ask if anything’s wrong, and I say nothing’s wrong, and continue to mope anyway, you’ll know that I’m telling the truth. It is precisely ‘nothing’ that makes me sad most often. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to sleepwork. Some things are sacred.

                                                                  “Tell me now what would you do, what would you say?
                                                                     When there is no black or white, only shades of grey.”
Posted in m@dness

Like wise!

What goes thro my mind nowadays before pressing ‘like’ on a boys’s( who also happens to be a good friend) photo on Facebook.

My dad will know and will throw a sly smile the next time I see him(Yes he’s on facebook but doesnt ever come online. But he has subscribed to my profile!!!). My very extended family shall inform my dad that I should get married soon. That 4th std school mate with whom I’ve never really talked since, will judge me. One of em from my girl gang would give a quick call n say “Aye bitch !! Have you ever ever pressed like or commented on even a single pic of mine ?! ” A few super jobless friends would take the pain to calculate the time interval between him uploading the pic and me commenting on it and will infer ‘Jeez ! Is she like always online ?!’

The Facebook ticker – Lethal to privacy, Fatal to productivity ! 😛

Posted in Uncategorized

The People I Like

I bet you thought that I was going to list out the people I like n all that! Boo you! Well I’ll just start by quoting Scott Fitzgerald:

“I simply state that I’m a product of a versatile mind in a restless generation — with every reason to throw my mind and pen in with the radicals. Even if, deep in my heart, I thought we were all blind atoms in a world as limited as a stroke of a pendulum, I and my sort would struggle against tradition; try, at least, to displace old cants with new ones. I’ve thought I was right about life at various times, but faith is difficult.”

Before I start,, I was just wondering how ” like” has become such a major part of our lives! Don’t you think so?!? I wonder if a few days/ months/ years later, people’s life altering decisions or just life might actually start depending on the “like” button on facebook!!!

So back to my liking of people. I like the people I meet in general.  Most in my friend circle are fun-loving with a thin streak of sarcasm and spontaneity, a passion for breaking stereotypes n rules and a flair for drama. That’s basically what you will figure out within ten minutes of speaking to me too. 😉 And then I think.There are only SO many people you can genuinely ‘like’.There are people you only claim to like to keep up appearances, and people you like only for the first twenty minutes of conversation. I like a lot of people, genuinely or even otherwise. It’s been a long time I met a person I can not just like, but respect. For their scope of thought or abundant talent. I think the last person I liked out of respect was hmmmm, well…hmmm Aamir Khan. No, not for the tears he shed on every episode of Satyameva Jayate. But, for the fact that he atleast opened a few eyes and bought out a number of social issues we face these days.

Does this make me a sound like a pretentious snob? Sure it does!But I’m just being honest. I feel like meeting Bhagat Singh. Or Oprah Winfrey. Or someone who can just blow me away.Anything to get respite from the drudgery and routine of this monotonous n mundane life. I think we like people when we find them similar to our nature but they earn our respect when they do things out of the way n out of the ordinary.

What do you think?! Who do you respect!?

Posted in m@dness

Of Old friends, Distance and Telephone Calls

Its raining here now. Don’t know why but rain always makes me write. An old friend messaged me today and was telling me how we don’t talk and spend time together like before. It bought me back to my school days. A time when the most complicated things in life were a one chapter test the next day or a school badge going missing or a torn holy book!( I will write a post on that someday)

Till about 4th standard, my grandma was around to help my dad bring us up, my brother and I that is. Well it was mostly me coz my brother was not around too often as he was away at college. A year and a half I went straight to my aunt’s house from school and when I began to totally hate it, I somehow convinced my dad that I would come home straight from school. So when I was in class 7, I came home directly from school everyday for the next 5  years. Empty home, yes! But empty home came with a gift of sorts, freedom. School was till 1:20 p.m and I would reach home by 2:15 latest. Lunch was noodles almost every day unless I got fed up and made eggs and had it with bread. I still have that emotional bonding with noodles!

I used to watch tv till about 3;00 pm and then take a nap till 4;4:30. THEN the phone calls used to start! I wouldn’t use the word gang coz we used to fight and make up and fight and join other gangs all the time. But I had this circle of about 4-5 people and we used to call each other up every single day like the next day was coming to an end. The phone would just ring non stop! When one call ended, the other would ring. There was no facebook at that time and the only was we could UPDATE each other of our activities were to call each other. No conference call either. So if we had to share some piece of info(read gossip) , the only way was to call each of them up! Now when I think of it I cannot help but laugh at the number of times we were shouted at and reprimanded for the times we called each other up! Jyo, my closest buddy since school and I used to call each other almost 30 times every day. This inspite of meeting in school, travelling in the same bus and staying just 2 minutes away from each other. It was fun. Great fun. Gossiping, sharing the most intricate details of everyday, updating each other by the minute on the activities, deciding who to target the next say, crushes, daily crushes, teachers etc.

Today, we are miles apart, both by distance and mind. We hardly talk once in a week. Updates are seen on facebook and the like/comment is used like read receipt. We meet once in three months, that is four times a year. Catch up on old times, but the distance is there, screaming at my face. We tried every trick to reduce the gap, but sometimes time just gets to you.

When I was a kid, I had just a few people and I was happy and contempt and felt like I didn’t need anybody else other than these people to live. Now, a grown up woman that I am, having so many friends and circles, I feel lost. Somewhere hidden inside is a girl who is still holding on to a phone to get that call of life. A girl who has walked beyond yesterday but not yet reached today.

Posted in m@dness

What’s your status???

People, especially nutcracks like my friends n me can be very creative especially when they get some time on their hand which happens once in a while but we always make good use of it.

So the other day 3 of us who were at that moment jobless( see we are actually very busy people) were in a nice pun-ny mood and supposedly discussing something very serious when one of my friends  said,

“So what does Facebook say if you try and make a three-way relationship?”

And I immediately wrote down

“Wanna give it a tri?”

I hope you got the joke there and no further explanation is required in this matter.

I don’t quite know why, but somehow we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon coming up with various facebook relationship statuses.

The list goes something like this:

Trying desperately to get into one
Sleeping Around
Looking around
In a Relationship
In a Fight
On a Break
On the Rebound
Not ready for one
Love-hate relationship
Trying out the other gender
About to Get Divorced
In denial
It’s Complicated
Can’t Talk About It Right Now
In an Open Relationship
In a Long-Distance Disaster
Deciding Between Two People
Happily Cheating on My Partner
Trying Out the No Sex Thing
Cyber Dating
Tired of experimenting

I would be really happy if u can add more to my list….

P.S-  I am reallly happy for all of u who are in a relationship and for those who are single, all the best!

Posted in close to heart, m@dness

One year n Many changes

From the day I turned 24 last year,

the friends at the Birthday table have changed.

One of them from the previous table is becoming a mom.

I traveled to quite a number of tourist spots.

The one great love, i figured is super scared of commitment and still is.

I gave Bangalore a whirl, made a mess and came back to God’s own country.

I moved on in life,leaving some people( who dont even realise am gone) behind.

I met a long lost friend and made a vow never to lose him again.

I made some good friends at work

I seem to have less interest in facebook.

I have learnt to cook without burning anything.

I wear skirts and shorts without fear of recrimination or eve teasing.

I have started saving money!!

I am beginning to see the goodness in churidars, sarees and kurtis.

I found a strong support system.

My new nail polish of choice is pink.

Three of the people I thought would always stay married is still married 🙂

I rediscovered my love for singing.

And discovered my leadership skills.

I am now on highly civil behavior even with the people i hate the most

I have started reading like there is no tomorrow.

And it can only get better from here…..

Happy Birthday to me 🙂