Posted in close to heart, m@dness

Girlfriends- The Real SoulMates

For oft when on my couch I lie,

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye,

Which is the bliss of solitude.

-William Wordsworth

Quite unlike a normal day, I have a few minutes to spare and I was in the mood for some introspection. Happened to overhear a conversation between 2 college going girls and it bought a rush of memories. The girls were discussing about what to wear to work and what hairdo to adorn to college the next day! I remembered making calls to my bestie asking her what I should wear to the parties, to a function or just to go out. Oh the hours those phone calls used to last! While in school, a minimum of 5 calls after school was a must. The joy and satisfaction was priceless. Conversations would range from normal Wassup to philosophy and life!

Unlike men who never let anything come in between their manfriends and man -time, we women tend to get tied down to a lot of things. Especially after marriage. My bestie and I have been friends for decades. Longevity doesn’t necessarily elicit a deeper friendship but it sure keeps you from having to explain yourself. She knows my story. The ups and downs, the good, bad, ugly. She is my “Remember when” girl.

It’s hard to nurture friendships when you’re busy raising kids. Some days, I don’t have the time or energy. I pick up the phone to call her but something comes up. Despite all this, in some strange way we are connected. There are times when I have received a call just when I needed to speak to her. In my weakest moments  I have noticed that while faith keeps you standing, more than family, friends hold your hand as you slowly move forward. They help you find a new normal, continue checking on you and show love in a million heartfelt ways. And now listening to those girls having fun, I realize the laughter is only part of the story, what comes after the complicated grown-up stuff. And while we certainly need the wonderful men in our lives, for they play a crucial role, too, men simply aren’t designed to understand us like one of our own. Sometimes it takes another woman to intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. Or to sense what needs to be said — then say it. Or to take the thoughts and emotions we don’t voice — and know what to make of them.

Here are the unspoken rules. I want my girl to know..SO…

  1. True girlfriends will tell you the good and the bad stuff. They will also find a way to make you feel OK about both.
  2. Your best friend may have other friends too. Accept it.
  3. We are imperfect people. Your friends will disappoint you. Forgive them even before they as
  4. A lack of phone contact should not breed insecurity, just excitement when you finally do connect.
  5. Don’t be a high maintenance friend, life’s hard enough. Just love well and often
  6. Apologize when you screw up, because you will.
  7. Don’t just say you’re going to pray for her, actually pray, even when she doesn’t ask.
  8. There’s a fine line between sharing information and gossiping. Don’t cross it and ask your friends to do the same.
  9. And lastly, no matter what it takes, catch up once in awhile. It will be worth it!

I hope this acts as a friendly reminder of why girlfriends matter in good times and bad, laughter and tears, and through the highs and lows that reveal who’s with us for the long haul, and who’s willing to share in our suffering so that one day, when we’re laughing together again , there will be a history that makes the laughter sound richer and stirs the curiosity of anyone in earshot.

Call your girlfriend. Now.

Image result for girls looking out

 

Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Happily Married- for a month

We celebrate a month of our marriage today! Ro and I!We!Us! Exactly a month ago, we got married. How time flies. Its strange too, a month and I still dont feel married. Thats in a good way! I havent changed. He hasnt let me. Maybe I have become a tad bit responsible and a little less talkative but I seem to be getting more resilient these days. So as I watched the Internet guy make my home a wifi zone, I thoought this should be my first post from my zone, dedicated to my man. Its funny, I always thought married couples were complicated. I was wrong. Its fun. Marriage is fun and you know you are happily married….

… when he laughs at the jokes she cracks, even the ones she doesn’t find funny

…when see you soon becomes that one thing she simply loves typing

… when she is doing experimental, creative cooking and he says it is yummy

…when she says good morning with a happy and satisfied face and really means it

… when she goes hyper over the silliest things and all he does is listen. Intently. That’s all she needed in the first place

… when right after a day of work and 2 hours in the traffic,he drives 300 km just to take her to a place that she had mentioned she wanted to see and herself forgot about it.

… stupid, baseless arguments. Anywhere. Home, elevators, cars, parking lots, airports. And feeling very stupid about them later.

… when he downloads all seasons of Grey’s Anatomy just for her to see, if ever she gets bored.

… when she sings to him and he falls asleep smiling

… when her feet finds  his beneathe the comforter at night, even after another nonsensical fight

… when he spends precious morning minutes explaining routes to the city and then says he will come and pick her up.

… when opening the door for him when he returns from work becomes the best time of her day

… eating cheap chinese and feeling like it was the best dinner ever

… when he gulps down that black coffee she made with a smile and then asking her to  make sure she puts sugar in the cup the next time

… finding out that the one place where she can really be herself, with all her hits and misses, is in those hugs he gives her  everyday

… discovering the joy of being in the kitchen together

… wondering why tickets have suddenly started costing twice of what they used to 😉

…making budget cuts and realising that some things are so useless! Like hand cream, face cream, leg cream. Thats why they have one body lotion na!

… when he pretends that she is the boss, and she revels in the glory of her recent promotion 😛

… learning to put his white shirts separately in the washing machine so they don’t end up pink 🙂

…hiding his once blue shirt and praying that he forgets about it!

… sharing dreams. Career, family, children – life

… rediscovering the good things in life they had recently forgotten. Like ice cream!

…when he eats ice cream for 1dhm so that she can have her 8 dhm galaxy ice cream:(

… financial planning. A lot of it!

… when he  learns to live with a female 😛

… unsolicited advice/ feedback. On everything starting from the amount of oil and jeera in food to her blog posts

… when she wakes up in the middle of the night and listens to his quiet snoring, looks at his childlike innocence and then falls asleep with a smile on her face

… everything that shared smiles can mean

… when he launches into one of his drunken ramblings and  she falls off the chair laughing and wondering how someone can be so sane and so, so mad at the same time

… finding this little place with beige walls and one balcony many months ago, and making a home out of it.

… the smell of morning coffee

… when he wonders why the bathroom in his one time bachelor pad has suddenly been smelling a tropical haven

… going grocery shopping together, and for some strange reason, laughing through the fact that one whole cover went missing

… when his car becomes “their” and yet the gyaan on banging the car door too hard never stops

… a little bit of knowing and a lot of discovering

… the camaraderie, the friendship, this knowledge that they are growing up together, and that, many years from now, they will grow old together and will have a history of their own

… this comfortable, effortless, mad,everyday love..

Here’s to us! To a month of mad mad married life and to many many many more to come.

 

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 23

Ever realized how many emotions there are within you waiting to explode? Ever wondered why sometimes you choose to feel protected under that facade of “I DON’T CARE” when you actually care so much that it hurts? Ever wondered why sometimes you fail so badly at the only thing you thought you would be good at that it haunts you every waking moment.. and sometimes even after you sleep? Ever wondered why you decide to stay surrounded by people you don’t even like much just to keep your own loneliness at bay? Ever wondered why socialising don’t make you happy anymore? Ever wondered why you have such few people you can call as FRIENDS? Ever wondered why someone you held so dear hurt you so badly? Ever wondered why you sometimes hold on to the past for so long that the present just glides by and you don’t even notice? Ever wondered why you feel so lonely even with 20 people around you? Ever wondered why…

Posted in close to heart

The Other M

THe workplace doesnt seem like the old place anymore. Not with you missing. I still see the same people every morning, still smile at all of them but you aren’t around so I cant give my special smile. We were college mates( at least for a year) and never knew of each others existence! We have met at countless instances and still not been aware of each other. Its weird. Its funny how we became such thick friends in just a year. Not saying much. Just that I miss you.

The pulling each others’ legs o’er each thing small or big,

The lifting up spirits when one is down,

The going together for a nibble or a loo break

& trying to wipe off each others’ frown.

The begging for treats on every occasion,

The planning to go to the gym or was it swimming or both?

The “detailed discussions” of the future,

All the while sitting around in the sauna!!

The notions to do something different,

The super bitching sessions about the boss n office

The decisions to watch a movie or not to,

The unlimited hours of gossip,

The kind words of encouragement.

The long talks over the walks n workouts

ALL the messages

All these things–& more,

May seem to last just a while.

But the moments are PRICELESS,

Posted in close to heart

Addicted

Happiness is addictive. Or so I like to believe. I think its also contagious. Like if people around you are happy, then maybe you become happy too.  So right now I am happy and am on the road to becoming happiest pretty soon. I  am happy and most of the people around me are also happy. Ok I am using the word happy one too many times. I gotta tell you things that are nice to hear and probably the reasons why I am so elated..

…..Mangu(The other M) is getting married in ten days and am super excited for her. Them.

…..Div is carrying and is due in November.

……Captain n Anju are also tying the knot soon. Babs and nandu are getting engaged in September. And so is another friend, Manu.

……All of us together will be starting our wedding shopping soon, hopefully.

……Das is happy because I am smiling all the time and singing and dancing all over the house.

……I am excited coz my own room might just be turing into a reality pretty soon.

……I’ll finally be meeting Deeps after a gap of 6 years!

……Joeeey is back in town and suddenly there seems to be a lot of things to do here!

……I have officially resigned and am looking forward to enjoying the Monsoon with loads of cups of hot piping tea. Finally.

……I start wedding shopping soon. Shopping! Such bliss and contentment.

……Old friends. New Friends. Reunions and more.

……A friend i thought I might never see for a long time is coming for M’s wedding. Or so I hear.

……I have begun to work out again and am feeling good about it.

……And then last but not least, except Whats App everything else that makes me happy is free! Hugs, inside jokes, friends, kisses, long walks, sleep, laughter, family and good memories.

P.S- I am addicted to happiness! Please touch wood.

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 21

When you’re little, night time is scary, because you think there are monsters, ghosts and demons hiding right under the bed. When you get older, the monsters are different. Self doubt… friendships taken for granted…..heart breaks…loneliness… anger….regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark. When I am usually in such a state. I try to sleep. It’s the easiest thing to do. You just have to close your eyes.

However, for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but we don’t know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears, and turn to each other for help, night time may not be  so scary, because we realize we aren’t all alone in the dark.We enter the world alone, and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise, we’re in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget… just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone.

 

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 20

It’s a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. You are thick friends on one day and then in a moment it all changes. Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you of who you care about the most. Sometimes you find yourself becoming stronger as a result; wiser, better equipped to deal with the next disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always.So when exactly do you decide to give up trying? Admit that a lost cause is sometimes just that? There comes a point when it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all. And lets all just remember this always, nobody chooses to be a freak, to commit mistakes. Most people don’t realize they’re a freak and have committed a heinous crime until it’s way too late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there’s still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they’ve already moved on. There is also a chance that you fight for the relation to work and you realise that you are the only one who seems to want it to work and then you give it all up. Because when it comes to time and relationships, even freaks can’t wait forever.