Posted in m@dness

Happiness, Unlimited!

My brother and wifey recently explored Bhutan. One of the first things I asked them was whether it is really a happy country or not, since suddenly tourists are flocking to this happy nation after the world has tried to emulate its happiness index. In recent times, a lot of discussions are taking place about HQ or Happiness Quotient. After the popularity with IQ and EQ, this one too is bound to become a hit in. And this is something that has set me thinking. Why would a person require a test to measure his/her emotional vulnerability or happiness!I can understand the need for Intelligence Tests but EQ and HQ!? Sigh!

People say IQ determines how intelligent one is or how one fares at work and all that.But come on, everyone goes through a phase of instability at some point of their lives no matter how emotional or unemotional they are.

So how can an EQ predict the performance of an individual at all times?! Hmmm that brings me to my present interest- Happiness Quotient. Really why would a person want to take a test to determine their level of happiness?! If you are feeling really happy, it just means that you are just  really. genuinely happy and vice versa. Why need a test to prove it to yourself?!

Sometimes I have felt that happiness is surreal but then again, in the past few years, I have also felt that watching a child’s smile is one of the most happiest things in a person’s life.Need not be one’s own child, any child for that matter!So is happiness surreal?!

There are a lot of aspects to happiness.For one thing,what might give you happiness changes as time passes and changes as a person grows up and starts accepting reality.

Its quite an interesting pattern if we look at it. As children we seem to find happiness in simple things: a new dress,a new toy,a nice kiss from mom and being carries on dad’s shoulders, playing with siblings especially older ones, going to the park etc

 

Then comes another phase where we grow up a little and we find happiness in things like getting a star from our teachers at school, getting a pat on the back because we scored marks or just going out to play with friends or going out with family, vacations etc!!

As we move forward in the game of life, things get a little tougher because just like we grow  the things that give us happiness also grows along with us. We realise that happiness isn’t that easy to find. Just like they say people perform at their peak during their working lives, the things that give us happiness also reaches an all time high, right then! The simple things in life no longer gives us a satisfaction or it just ceases to give us the happiness it used to give us. Happiness for us then is derived from BIG things like getting to the top fast, getting promoted, being offered raises, “that” nice apartment with all the luxuries, “that” car, get married to “that” person, have a stable income, save for the future, have kids, put them in nice schools, give them good education…basically lead a peaceful life with no obstructions and without having to work too hard.

Then comes the later stages . I haven’t been through that stage but I sure have seen  people in their later stages of life and watched them long. enough to know what makes them happy. Those are people who have lived a full life and are slowly ageing. They are the ones who have chased happiness around the world, some who have worked hard and some who have hardly worked, some who have lost a lot and some who have found a lot of happiness in their lives. Those are the same people who now find happiness in the simple things of life: A nice walk, their grand children, spending time with family and old friends, a cup of got tea or a glass of their favourite brand to name a few.

Very rarely, people recognize that if only they look around a little bit, they could derive happiness in small things and that  money,luxurious apartments, fast cars or a successful career are not exactly the key measure of how happy a person is truly is.  Maybe it’s true that Success is not the key to happiness and that happiness is the key to success.

So these days, here I am, sitting at home, not thinking of what I don’t have and just focusing on the things in life that really makes me happy. And if smiling is an indicator of how happy a person is or isn’t, then boy I am smiling a lot these days!

Till next time:

“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”

Advertisements
Posted in close to heart, m@dness

Girlfriends- The Real SoulMates

For oft when on my couch I lie,

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye,

Which is the bliss of solitude.

-William Wordsworth

Quite unlike a normal day, I have a few minutes to spare and I was in the mood for some introspection. Happened to overhear a conversation between 2 college going girls and it bought a rush of memories. The girls were discussing about what to wear to work and what hairdo to adorn to college the next day! I remembered making calls to my bestie asking her what I should wear to the parties, to a function or just to go out. Oh the hours those phone calls used to last! While in school, a minimum of 5 calls after school was a must. The joy and satisfaction was priceless. Conversations would range from normal Wassup to philosophy and life!

Unlike men who never let anything come in between their manfriends and man -time, we women tend to get tied down to a lot of things. Especially after marriage. My bestie and I have been friends for decades. Longevity doesn’t necessarily elicit a deeper friendship but it sure keeps you from having to explain yourself. She knows my story. The ups and downs, the good, bad, ugly. She is my “Remember when” girl.

It’s hard to nurture friendships when you’re busy raising kids. Some days, I don’t have the time or energy. I pick up the phone to call her but something comes up. Despite all this, in some strange way we are connected. There are times when I have received a call just when I needed to speak to her. In my weakest moments  I have noticed that while faith keeps you standing, more than family, friends hold your hand as you slowly move forward. They help you find a new normal, continue checking on you and show love in a million heartfelt ways. And now listening to those girls having fun, I realize the laughter is only part of the story, what comes after the complicated grown-up stuff. And while we certainly need the wonderful men in our lives, for they play a crucial role, too, men simply aren’t designed to understand us like one of our own. Sometimes it takes another woman to intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. Or to sense what needs to be said — then say it. Or to take the thoughts and emotions we don’t voice — and know what to make of them.

Here are the unspoken rules. I want my girl to know..SO…

  1. True girlfriends will tell you the good and the bad stuff. They will also find a way to make you feel OK about both.
  2. Your best friend may have other friends too. Accept it.
  3. We are imperfect people. Your friends will disappoint you. Forgive them even before they as
  4. A lack of phone contact should not breed insecurity, just excitement when you finally do connect.
  5. Don’t be a high maintenance friend, life’s hard enough. Just love well and often
  6. Apologize when you screw up, because you will.
  7. Don’t just say you’re going to pray for her, actually pray, even when she doesn’t ask.
  8. There’s a fine line between sharing information and gossiping. Don’t cross it and ask your friends to do the same.
  9. And lastly, no matter what it takes, catch up once in awhile. It will be worth it!

I hope this acts as a friendly reminder of why girlfriends matter in good times and bad, laughter and tears, and through the highs and lows that reveal who’s with us for the long haul, and who’s willing to share in our suffering so that one day, when we’re laughing together again , there will be a history that makes the laughter sound richer and stirs the curiosity of anyone in earshot.

Call your girlfriend. Now.

Image result for girls looking out

 

Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Love Bits-3

100 days ago he walked into my life with an ease that only he is capable of! The first time we met, he made me wait for 45 minutes! I would have called it quits but the man really bowled me over with his apologetic smile:).After 3 meetings and hours of talk, I know he is the best thing to happen to me. We have been counting each day from the day we decided to spend our lives together and with each passing day, we have realized how difficult it is to stay apart from each other.

The best thing about being opposites is that you make up for each other’s shortcomings… you may not always double each other’s best, but you may nullify each other’s worst !! What probably got us together was that we realized that both of us are equally crazy in our own ways..and then we got comfortable and found a friend in each other…and later accepted each other for life !! and the fun continues…the fights continue…n ofcourse, thats not all ! 🙂

That’s the story so far…and we look forward to a beautiful life ahead in 100 days!

As Khalil Gibran wrote:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Posted in close to heart

Addicted

Happiness is addictive. Or so I like to believe. I think its also contagious. Like if people around you are happy, then maybe you become happy too.  So right now I am happy and am on the road to becoming happiest pretty soon. I  am happy and most of the people around me are also happy. Ok I am using the word happy one too many times. I gotta tell you things that are nice to hear and probably the reasons why I am so elated..

…..Mangu(The other M) is getting married in ten days and am super excited for her. Them.

…..Div is carrying and is due in November.

……Captain n Anju are also tying the knot soon. Babs and nandu are getting engaged in September. And so is another friend, Manu.

……All of us together will be starting our wedding shopping soon, hopefully.

……Das is happy because I am smiling all the time and singing and dancing all over the house.

……I am excited coz my own room might just be turing into a reality pretty soon.

……I’ll finally be meeting Deeps after a gap of 6 years!

……Joeeey is back in town and suddenly there seems to be a lot of things to do here!

……I have officially resigned and am looking forward to enjoying the Monsoon with loads of cups of hot piping tea. Finally.

……I start wedding shopping soon. Shopping! Such bliss and contentment.

……Old friends. New Friends. Reunions and more.

……A friend i thought I might never see for a long time is coming for M’s wedding. Or so I hear.

……I have begun to work out again and am feeling good about it.

……And then last but not least, except Whats App everything else that makes me happy is free! Hugs, inside jokes, friends, kisses, long walks, sleep, laughter, family and good memories.

P.S- I am addicted to happiness! Please touch wood.

Posted in m@dness

To stay happy

Its Tuesday…yet another Tuesday in the life of mad!
mad loves Tuesdays…know why…cos it’s Tuesday!!! Actually I love every other day of the week except Sunday. Yes, I hate sundays because its followed by Monday!  I have always had that issue with Sundays. While I was in school, i used to detest it because we had a maths test on Mondays coz of which I had to sit n study on Sundays(or so I’d like to believe even though I never studied on Sundays . In college, I hated Sundays coz the next day being a Monday  I had to leave home on Sunday evening so that I could get to college on time on Monday! While at work, I used to dread Sundays because Monday used to keep hovering over my head. It was either Monday morning blues or the dreaded Monday meetings we used to have.

The most miserable thing in life is when u know that there’s something u don like awaiting u after something you enjoy! That’s the thing about weekends, the dreaded arrival of a hectic , busy, tiring week ahead clouds the fun mood of a beautiful “Sunday”.

Somehow i can never “enjoy the moment” cos i keep thinking of what lies ahead. All my friends tell me that its a very crappy attitude I’ve got towards life and that i should learn to enjoy the ride instead of sitting and counting the potholes! But *sigh*, its of no use. I’ve tried but just cant get the “potholes” outta my mind and that spoils the essence of the ride as well.

Wonder what god had in mind while making me.Why did he make me a “thinker”??(whatever that means to you, to me it means *a person who thinks too much* especially when there’s no need to) Another thing im famous for is “assuming”. My closest friends say that i cant bear to stay happy for long . Well this isn’t true!!I mean not exactly. Which person in the right mind wouldn’t want to stay happy??.)But everytime there’s a reason to be happy, i start doubting it and begin to wonder if i should really be happy about it. My stupid little brain starts assuming things, conjuring up imaginary assumptions on how there could actually be a negative associated with it, how it cud actually be “it doesn’t mean anything then what the f**k are you getting so thrilled about” situation.

BUT am trying to change for the better! Like I told you yday, the month being nice n spiritual, even though I couldn’t be happy and thankful the year through,  I’d like to give it a try anyway! So…come on help me out here, will ya!

I shall leave you with this:

Monday’s child is fair of face,
Tuesday’s child is full of grace,
Wednesday’s child is full of woe,
Thursday’s child has far to go.
Friday’s child is loving and giving,
Saturday’s child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay. “

I know I loved this rhyme when  I was in school!

Another struggling attempt to stay happy……

Posted in m@dness

To the Warm n Fuzzy Ones

Another week, another Monday  I had a pretty blah weekend. Nothing much to do. S and DC came for a “flying visit”  with Lil on Saturday. Slept the whole of Sunday! Thats it. Tada! And the weekend was over n done with.So as I sat in a contemplative mood, I realized that the art of comforting ourselves is something we start practicing from childhood. It can start from ice-creams, chocolates, maggi, and as we grow up into that incomprehensible term “adults”, it can turn into taking walks, listening to music…sometimes the illusive “calming” power of cigarettes or alcohol. The last two are rather sad ways and do not provide comfort as much as escapism, and the two are pretty different things, actually. But for some of us, the instant magic that hugging a teddy bear brought us as children remains just that magical and fool-proof. It is not something that many people do or know or even admit to. But for those of us who do know..hmmm how would we describe the feeling? I have spent numerous years trying my hand at word-play and sophistry and yet, no amount of it can describe feelings such as this other than all warm and fuzzy! It’s like being engulfed by a soft blanket when its snowing outside. Its just that simple, yet that precious. And those of us who are really lucky, meet someone who has this same charm and is going to be there for life.

So, this is for the warm and fuzzy beings in my life. We dont see each other often, some I see over few weeks and some I havent even seen for years. But, whenever we do get together, its a funny feeling. To my teddies!

Chech! I hate meeting and talking to new people. I get so awkward and all “um..um and more umm”, its ridiculous. yet, the first time I talked to you, all I did was laugh. No, no, not at you…well, may be a little. But anyhow, I did not think it was possible to like you better than I did already. And then, I met you. I am glad you are married to my brother!We wouldnt have been able to find him anybody half as nice as you.

Deeps n Div! One of the luckiest things to happen to me was meeting you both when I did…just when I moved to the new city. All the misery I anticipated was virtually cut down to half thanks to you. I still remember what Deeps said to me as I was returning  from Cochin…how lucky I was to have spent 19 years of my life amidst things that remain unknown to so many. And ever since I came here, I have realised just how right you were. For all those endless hours that I bombarded you with my home-sickness and exactly why I just have to go back someday, you always seemed to understand. Maybe you do not really. Maybe you are just being nice and humoring a cribbing soul. But the way you do it makes all the difference. Div, You make momentary childishness seem “okay,”even needed, actually. With you, its okay to cry now and then, be hurt over trivial matters and think about things near impossible to achieve. And how, oh how do you always manage to make people laugh? No matter what the situation, with you smiles are always guaranteed.

Sin: A lot of people are ever ready to provide advice. Stupid advice, irritating advice, belittling advice and so on. But I actually like listening to what you have to say. Because you do not patronize. You do not make the other person feel stupid for getting into stupid situations in the first place, even if they are. You do not ask for the reasons behind everything. You actually remember that careless mistakes or short-sightedness are things that all of us commit at some point in time. This little something is always conveniently forgotten by many.

Soooo of all people,the four of  you will understand that sometimes words are not the best way out. And me? I am pretty bad with them. Sometimes the subject is just too weird, too infuriating and sometimes, just too nice. I am sorry I could not manage something better than this, because you deserve much better!But I want you to know that you are among the best people I have met, or will ever meet. I love you because you are honest, simple and without airs. Yes, and I think you all  are smart. Very smart actually. Because unlike so many, you do not disregard emotions. And please do not ever start doing that.

I am so glad I found people like you, so glad that you are here to stay. In a world so full of egoists and mean people, you give me hope of actual nice people out there somewhere. You are among my most favorite people in the world. You are the best teddy bear I could have asked for. Thank you for all the times you have made me feel so warm and fuzzy. I hope you are not tired, because I will always need more of that.

For you, I wish I could write better!:)

Yes, you will see a lot of good things and happiness on my blog from now on, hopefully. I am trying to be thankful for all the things I have in life and stay happy atleast for the sake of people around me to whose misery I seem to be adding to! So here’s wishing me some good luck and maybe peace if not happiness!

Posted in m@dness

n they say Life holds all answers!

To be happy or to be successful?
There are those who think happiness is overrated.
They are the ones who don’t understand life at all.
If that makes me selfish or an objectivist(mad word of the day), so be it.
My life. My terms. I want happiness. Lucky for people, I find happiness in the smallest things.
I’ve been feeling apprehensive about my future of late.What do I really want to make of my life?Will I able to make a difference? Bring about a change in attitude, circumstance or ideology. I don’t want to be just one of the many with a high-powered prestigious job and hefty salary who makes no difference if alive or dead. I really don’t. I would much rather earn a smaller income, do what I want to do and be happy in my life n make a difference to the lives of people.Yes, I know how many reading this will think of the immature idealism underlining this statement. No, I am not lazy and thats not why I chose to settle down in a nice cozy life. I believe that because you have ONLY one life, you are supposed to do what you want with it instead of thinking about what people might say if you don’t have a 7 figure salary by 30 n stuff! Bah to them!
To be honest, as I write this, I am thinking of the impracticality and impossibility of it all.I hear close friends talking about leaving the country and never looking back. I hear all the rationale for getting a good job “somewhere” and being ‘settled’. And the funny thing is, that also makes sense. A lot of sense. That might just be what I end up doing with my life.Aiiiyyyooo!
It’s just that the idea of being ‘settled’, implies a certain amount of complacence and satisfaction with what I see around me. There are so many things I’m thinking of right now and unable to frame coherently into a sentence.For lack of a better way to put it, I would always like to be somewhat dissatisfied with what I see and what I do. Or else, what is the point of it all?
See I told you I am going nuts with each passing day.I have completely forgotten the point of this post. Tell me if you find one.;)