Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Happily Married- for a month

We celebrate a month of our marriage today! Ro and I!We!Us! Exactly a month ago, we got married. How time flies. Its strange too, a month and I still dont feel married. Thats in a good way! I havent changed. He hasnt let me. Maybe I have become a tad bit responsible and a little less talkative but I seem to be getting more resilient these days. So as I watched the Internet guy make my home a wifi zone, I thoought this should be my first post from my zone, dedicated to my man. Its funny, I always thought married couples were complicated. I was wrong. Its fun. Marriage is fun and you know you are happily married….

… when he laughs at the jokes she cracks, even the ones she doesn’t find funny

…when see you soon becomes that one thing she simply loves typing

… when she is doing experimental, creative cooking and he says it is yummy

…when she says good morning with a happy and satisfied face and really means it

… when she goes hyper over the silliest things and all he does is listen. Intently. That’s all she needed in the first place

… when right after a day of work and 2 hours in the traffic,he drives 300 km just to take her to a place that she had mentioned she wanted to see and herself forgot about it.

… stupid, baseless arguments. Anywhere. Home, elevators, cars, parking lots, airports. And feeling very stupid about them later.

… when he downloads all seasons of Grey’s Anatomy just for her to see, if ever she gets bored.

… when she sings to him and he falls asleep smiling

… when her feet finds  his beneathe the comforter at night, even after another nonsensical fight

… when he spends precious morning minutes explaining routes to the city and then says he will come and pick her up.

… when opening the door for him when he returns from work becomes the best time of her day

… eating cheap chinese and feeling like it was the best dinner ever

… when he gulps down that black coffee she made with a smile and then asking her to  make sure she puts sugar in the cup the next time

… finding out that the one place where she can really be herself, with all her hits and misses, is in those hugs he gives her  everyday

… discovering the joy of being in the kitchen together

… wondering why tickets have suddenly started costing twice of what they used to 😉

…making budget cuts and realising that some things are so useless! Like hand cream, face cream, leg cream. Thats why they have one body lotion na!

… when he pretends that she is the boss, and she revels in the glory of her recent promotion 😛

… learning to put his white shirts separately in the washing machine so they don’t end up pink 🙂

…hiding his once blue shirt and praying that he forgets about it!

… sharing dreams. Career, family, children – life

… rediscovering the good things in life they had recently forgotten. Like ice cream!

…when he eats ice cream for 1dhm so that she can have her 8 dhm galaxy ice cream:(

… financial planning. A lot of it!

… when he  learns to live with a female 😛

… unsolicited advice/ feedback. On everything starting from the amount of oil and jeera in food to her blog posts

… when she wakes up in the middle of the night and listens to his quiet snoring, looks at his childlike innocence and then falls asleep with a smile on her face

… everything that shared smiles can mean

… when he launches into one of his drunken ramblings and  she falls off the chair laughing and wondering how someone can be so sane and so, so mad at the same time

… finding this little place with beige walls and one balcony many months ago, and making a home out of it.

… the smell of morning coffee

… when he wonders why the bathroom in his one time bachelor pad has suddenly been smelling a tropical haven

… going grocery shopping together, and for some strange reason, laughing through the fact that one whole cover went missing

… when his car becomes “their” and yet the gyaan on banging the car door too hard never stops

… a little bit of knowing and a lot of discovering

… the camaraderie, the friendship, this knowledge that they are growing up together, and that, many years from now, they will grow old together and will have a history of their own

… this comfortable, effortless, mad,everyday love..

Here’s to us! To a month of mad mad married life and to many many many more to come.

 

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Posted in close to heart

Happy Blogoversary!!!

6 years, 470 posts and 141 followers. 6 years of writing random nothings. 6 years of fetishes, failures, heartbreaks, and eyesores. Of psychology, philosophy, men and friends, hangovers, complete-lack-of-social-life, first job, HR philosophy, family, unbelievably stupid arranged marriage matches, and then that one perfect match, falling in love, enroute marriage, changing jobs, changing cities. My blogs have seen it all. 6 years of my life are documented in various blogs, phase by phase, trip by trip, song by song, book by book. I don’t think any of this is ever going to be of any consequence to anyone except me. But then I started blogging for myself, didn’t I? I guess that is why this sustained interest even after all these years. There is nothing else I have stuck with for so long. Nothing except real people, albeit very few.

I am reproducing two posts from my first month of blogging. In italics is the old me talking.

-beginning of ancient posts-

The first post ever –

Then – 

wel its jus the begining of a gr8 journey…well this is jus about me me n oly me!for all those who think this is a f***ed up blog, am goin to keep it the way i wanna keep it n every1 else can jus get used to it…if people dont like ma blog or me,well…tough beans!!its a free country and i don need anyone’s permission to b the way i want or to write i want..this is how i am n wil b..take it or leave it!n oh this is jus the start!!!

And-
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Back to now-
Ha. Nothing has changed except my love for writing! I am still obsessed with myself 🙂 but yeah the regulars who have followed me for a long time now says my writing has improved. So, maybe I will end up writing a book after all. On that note, Happy Anniversary to my writing and Happy Birthday dear Verisimilitude 🙂
Those of you who simply adore the blog and want to send gifts to it, please let me know! I shall figure some way of getting it here 😉
Thank you for loving us.
Posted in m@dness

Ramblings-5

Mental peace is all about being able to maintain a balance between the extremes that we are soooo used to in life. A balance between work and pleasure, between being a complete workaholic to being able to take it easy. A fine balance between family responsibilities and social life. This balance doesn’t necessarily come into the picture when you talk about the bigger things in life. Of late I have noticed that it’s the smaller, seemingly unessential, inconsequential things that really make a difference. Like finding the right balance between wild, crazy weekends and ones spent at home doing nothing in particular, giving your body the rest it unconsciously seeks after 5 stressed days at work. The balance between downright madness and laughter and uninhibited fun and those moments of quiet solitude, doing all the planning and thinking one needs to do, something that we cannot do without, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we can.

As we grow older, our circumference of acquaintances expands every minute and the core of those true, real, 2 am friends, decreases. The superficiality of relationships increases. But then again, more often than not, it’s these superficial acquaintances that eventually help you network, something that is fast becoming indispensable in our world, especially as far as career moves are concerned. So again, the balance between networking with acquaintances and spending quality, “no hang ups” time with close, “real” friends.

Emotional attachments, yet another thing that screams attention when it comes to balancing. One of the most difficult things according to me is being able to find the right balance between being emotionally independent and letting your guards down and opening yourself up to hurt and despair. After all, you win some, you lose some. Acceptance doesn’t come easy, especially in our world when we condition ourselves to hold up these guards. But to find happiness, a lot of times these guards have to come down. Easier said than done, but that’s the way it is.

And then comes the balance between holding on and letting go.Something I don’t want to detail on, for reasons known best to me.

Somewhere between planning and dreaming about my future and getting nostalgic about my past, I was beginning to forget that I have a present that’s completely mine. Probably the only thing in my life that I have complete control on. And I knew I had to balance it out… Again! It might sound funny coming from someone who had always been at extremes with everything and someone who never believed in shades of grey and always saw life only in black and white until a few years ago, but I seem to have found my balance. Not the perfect one, but a balance nevertheless. The balance between being wise. And otherwise. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 23

Ever realized how many emotions there are within you waiting to explode? Ever wondered why sometimes you choose to feel protected under that facade of “I DON’T CARE” when you actually care so much that it hurts? Ever wondered why sometimes you fail so badly at the only thing you thought you would be good at that it haunts you every waking moment.. and sometimes even after you sleep? Ever wondered why you decide to stay surrounded by people you don’t even like much just to keep your own loneliness at bay? Ever wondered why socialising don’t make you happy anymore? Ever wondered why you have such few people you can call as FRIENDS? Ever wondered why someone you held so dear hurt you so badly? Ever wondered why you sometimes hold on to the past for so long that the present just glides by and you don’t even notice? Ever wondered why you feel so lonely even with 20 people around you? Ever wondered why…

Posted in Interesting Reads

After a while

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

                                      – Veronica Shoftshall

Keep this in mind but don’t forget to enjoy!!! And with this my dears, I wish you a very happy weekend. For those on the other side of the world, like my man, whose weekends have already started, hope you are having a great weekend 🙂

Posted in m@dness

All is well when it rains

I love this time of the year every year. It rains. Morning..Afternoon…Night, it rains. And I love rain. I love traveliing when its raining. Listening to music and watching the rain while traveling gives me a high!

Kahaan se chale.. Kahaan ke liye.. Khabar nahi thi magar
Koi bhi sira.. Jahaan ja mila.. Wahiin tum miloge

Tum Aa Gaye Ho: Aandhi

For my Non Indian Friends…THis can be loosely transalted as “Didnt know when I was coming from and where I was going. But I knew, I’d find you where the corners meet.”

I think it is beautiful how it conveys  that everything falls in place eventually. It does, doesn’t it? “Everything that does not work out is a step closer to what will really make you happy” is not just a cliche.. Tum aa gaye ho.. Noor aa gaya hai.( You have come…the moon has shone)

I can relate this song to everything in my life. I mean everything. All my failures. All my successes. All the ties I broke. All the things that didn’t work out and those that did. Every job I quit. Every subject I flunked and cracked. Every post i wrote n deleted. Every friend I lost. Brought. Every smile. Every tear.

Me. Here. And there is nowhere else I’d rather be.

Khwaabon ke diye.. Aankho mein liye.. Wahii Aa Rahe The..
Jahaanse tumhaari sadaa aa rahii thi. 
 
Again roughly transalated into ” The wicks of my eyes lit up by my dreams, I was coming to you, to where your sound was coming from.”

See what I mean? I love this song. I love rain. You get the point, don’t you?

Till next time, listen to some good music, watch the rain and maybe write 🙂

Posted in Moanday Mornings

On my mind

On my mind these days……..

I’m broke but I’m happy
I’m poor but I’m kind
I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah
I’m high but I’m grounded
I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed
I’m lost but I’m hopeful baby 

I wont have much of a salary to talk about this month.. Thanks to me deciding to leave for greener pastures and now being stuck in notice period. Not that I’ll die of starvation, but it’s not quite the same thing you know. There’s something about a certain amount of money making its way to the bank, that makes you feel comfortable, even if you don’t use all of it. When did the days of managing 10 days with 20 bucks end? Why did I get so used to this sickening, addictive thing called salary?

I feel drunk but I’m sober
I’m young and I’m underpaid
I’m tired but I’m working, yeah
I care but I’m worthless
I’m here but I’m really gone
I’m wrong and I’m sorry baby 

I didn’t think I was underpaid until the day I realised I was doing something that makes little or no difference to anyone’s lives. I mean my boss acts like he doesnt care a damn if everyone leaves the company! He loves micromanagement and I hate it!I feel like I was hired to be an admin and not an HR professional.

I’m free but I’m focused
I’m green but I’m wise
I’m shy but I’m friendly baby
I’m sad but I’m laughing
I’m brave but I’m chicken shit
I’m sick but I’m pretty baby



I need to desperately get out of here. And yet there are so many hurdles to cross and so many hyperactive, super fragile egos to massage before the 4 week deadline. I love change. And yet I hate it. The anxiety is sort of killing me. But I don’t think it will last. This must be the time when people tell you that “night is the darkest just before dawn” Because…

What it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine
I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

Eternally optimistic these days!