Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Love Bits- 2

 
Sunrise in you
Sunset in me
These lingering moments
Those thoughts after
Silence and Distance
I feel you with me.
 

When I see you. The world, it stops. And all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you.There’s nothing else. No noise, no people, no worries, no thoughts, no yesterdays and no tomorrows. The world just stops and there’s just you. Its beautiful. When you go, the world starts again and I dont like it much. I can live in it but dont  like it. I just walk around in it, waiting for you to stop my world again. I love it when it stops. Its the most beautiful feeling in the world. Its the best thing to sense and see. That’s why I stare at you…….

And as I write this, i sing,

You and I, in this beautiful world,
Green grass, blue skies,
In this beautiful world
You and I, winding lanes as streams go by.
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Posted in RoMa Chronicles

I miss you, already

I stood undecidedly in front of the laptop, all the while looking at my phone.

Picking up the phone, I whats app’d a more intelligent friend, “What time is it in dubai now?”
“8.30 in the morning! Like you dont know by now!?!”

A boring, sulky, sad monday morning with nothing to look forward to. Except this. SO I continued to look at the phone and the laptop. I could picture him carrying his bag and walking over to his car. His sleek, white, automatic car. The one that stole his heart before me:). He would then put his bag in the boot, get on to the driver seat, say a  little prayer and get on the road. I could picture this clearly.

I dialed the number. “beep beep beep…”
My phone acts very weird when I call ISD. I knew it. That’s why I never call him when I most want to speak to him. Its the surest way I wouldn’t! We generally seem to talk about the weather. About the apartment he has, the work going on at my house..about the traffic and his car. About his flat mates. About his work. Mine too. About family. Or maybe just about how his day and mine…

Today its different. Probably because for a few days now, I am so used to seeing him next to me, I cant even get the timings right. I am so used to not having to ping him all the time on whats app coz he was with me that I cant seem to remember our routines online! I was so used to hearing him speak to me directly that I seem to have forgotten how he sounds on the phone. I tried again. I was subject to the same monotonous voice that would have repeated the same lines a hundred thousand times, the same monotonous voice that will repeat the same lines a hundred thousand times…

I think, the last time before he left, during some conversation, he told me to leave a message in case his phone is busy or if he didnt pick up. He was always a busy man. I like it that way. It kinda gives me the feeling that he wont have time to think and feel bad! Its partly the ridiculousness of talking to a machine… its partly, “What message do I leave?”. I never call him up to talk a specific topic…I call him to… I just call him…sometimes to say that I miss him, sometimes to just hear him and sometimes just for those stolen moments…

Walking out to the balcony, watching the sun scorn at the earth, I wondered if it would be like this there too. Hot. I knew it would be. I know. I walked. I took my phone and walked. I didnt want to walk but I had to coz I coukdnt just sit there. I learnt that day that I could not decide on a topic and think about it while I was walking. I was supposed to think of all the happy times we’d shared. Instead I found myself thinking how much life’s changed  since the last time we’d been with each other.

I must have walked a good 20 minutes, before another wave of lets-try-once-more hit me. I whats app’d my intelligent friend again. “What time is it in Gulf  now?”
“9.00 in the morning. Whats with you? Why you obsessed with the timing in gulf now? And why on earth you acting like you dont know! Its been just a few hours since you returned, you crazy crazy woman!”

I dial. Once again. Last time. I promise.

0097155……….

I was holding the phone tight, “Please let it ring…”

I was surprised when it did. And then, cut! The rich guy or rather the stingy guy! He hated me spending money on calling him. Oh well, he called back. He always did. Short, simple string of words. People wouldn’t believe it, but we were always stingy with words. Either he talked and I listened or I talked and he listened. It was hardly ever a dialogue.I talk to him. I tell him to have a great day. He says something again.… A few seconds later, when I feel bad about him wasting money on my call, I say a hurried bye and press the disconnect button with my finger… I could hear the eerie  sound one has to hear while the call gets disconnected, when I say “I miss you already….”

:/

Posted in m@dness

What’s your status???

People, especially nutcracks like my friends n me can be very creative especially when they get some time on their hand which happens once in a while but we always make good use of it.

So the other day 3 of us who were at that moment jobless( see we are actually very busy people) were in a nice pun-ny mood and supposedly discussing something very serious when one of my friends  said,

“So what does Facebook say if you try and make a three-way relationship?”

And I immediately wrote down

“Wanna give it a tri?”

I hope you got the joke there and no further explanation is required in this matter.

I don’t quite know why, but somehow we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon coming up with various facebook relationship statuses.

The list goes something like this:

Single
Trying desperately to get into one
Sleeping Around
Looking around
In a Relationship
In a Fight
On a Break
On the Rebound
Not ready for one
Love-hate relationship
Trying out the other gender
Engaged
Married
About to Get Divorced
Divorced
Lonely
In denial
It’s Complicated
Can’t Talk About It Right Now
In an Open Relationship
In a Long-Distance Disaster
Deciding Between Two People
Happily Cheating on My Partner
Trying Out the No Sex Thing
Cyber Dating
Ugly
Tired of experimenting

I would be really happy if u can add more to my list….

P.S-  I am reallly happy for all of u who are in a relationship and for those who are single, all the best!

Posted in m@dness

>Love Always

>

You saw me dance- when i thought no one was watching… swaying and moving to the unsung song of my heart, those clumsy feet moving to a divine rythm of thier own…

You saw me smell the flowers, fresh from the garden… d smell so delightfully new, the petals such a glorious color, their texture smooth… ah!!! to be alive and to be able to feel…

You saw me smile when the phone began to ring… the slight flutter of my heart, the silent prayer upwards hoping it would be him calling just to say…

You saw me sing… with lyrics that were far from original… yet oblivious to the anything but the melody on the radio…

You saw me heave those sighs, eyes full of unshed tears, wondering why he wasnt there… wondering if he have forgotten me…

You saw me go mad with jealousy… to see him smile his special smile with someone else, to share his dreams and hope with others…

You saw me cry when he left , standing all alone, bereft and miserable, wondering if I would ever be the same again, if I can ever want again…

You saw me laugh, you saw me cry, you saw me in a crowd, you saw me all alone… You got me through nights when i couldnt sleep… You kept me going when i thought all was lost…

I’ve prayed for you, yet cursed you when you came… You made me happy, you made me sad… You’ve tormeted me,yet you made this world such a wonderful place… You taught me about life, you let me grow, and how to face life with a smile, even when you’re crumbling inside… and in the end when everyones left… you showed me how to be me…

What do i call you… well I call you… Love…

Posted in close to heart

>The distance from you to me

>”And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Khalil Gibran

When we start any relationship,no matter how much caution we take,no one prepares themselves or their love for a long distant romance. Every other what ifs are answered in one way of the other or prepared in advance. What if parents find out?what if the phone is not there?what if parents do not agree etc etc. But I know very few people who actually sit and talk about what they would do if they had to move to two different places and we were definitely not one of them. I never thought it would be so difficult especially when the cities were jus a night’s travel apart. But then somehow it dawned on me that its not the distance actually. There are a lot more things..

One was the city I grew up in,my school,my college,my friends and above all my home.A city that I am so fond of that every other city was incomparable. I had done everything and anything in that city. And then I fell in love with it even more…coz as my hero says we spent close to two and a half years there..discovering ourselves,falling in love,going on short trips,fighting,crying and what not.. Every place every signal reminded us of each other. Every coffee joint, every restaurant every mall reminded us of our time there. And then I had to leave…

The other was the city which gave me love. It gave me a fresh new outlook to life,it helped me grow as a person.Now I was in love with another city. It was not the city I loved,it was the memories I had here that I was in love with. THe roads, certain joints, signals n malls reminded me of our time together. Everytime I walk on the roads here and see people holding hands and walk I envy them coz its what I missed.
Seeing people together used to bug me so much that I stopped going out for shopping or anything. Home-office-home became my pattern of living here. Till my hero called up one day and asked me to get out and take a walk along all those areas that we went together and with great reluctance I agreed. He then told me everytime I walked into a place we had been together,to close my eyes and think of all the wonderful times we spent there. I did and i realised I felt really good. It was like for those few seconds that I relived he was right next to me…

Long Distance Love can be really difficult but I guess I was among the lucky ones who got to be in the city that we were once together in. Not many people are as lucky. I learnt a lot of things in these two months, I started realising the value of time, the value of those people who you always took for granted. I still feel bad for the times I said No to people when they asked me to meet them and above all it taught me that love is not about how much time u spend together,an hour or 10 days its about how many memories u make coz in the end time will befriend you and memories will stay forever.

In the words of my hero,”When the flame that lights up the candle is not there, the candle is no fun to look at.”

P.S- I dont know how many of u will understand this but for those who don’t what he meant is, both the cities don’t look appealing coz we are not there to illuminate it with our presence….