Posted in Interesting Reads

Its alright to spend on making memories.

This article was up as a good read in one of the sites I follow.  FOr each one of you who thinks that photography is a waste of time and money and all those who think that spending an amount for photography for any occasion is totally unwanted, take a look at this article. 

“My parents have exactly 18 professional images from their wedding. Eighteen. I know them inside and out. I could describe each image to you so well that a sketch artist would be able to recreate them.

How do I know them so well? Because I’ve looked at them hundreds of times. I’ve looked at them hundreds of times because they were on display, in an album. An album that was made by a professional, filled with prints made through a professional lab and bound in a book available only to professionals. From the time I was a little girl I was fascinated by it — seeing my parents so young, my grandparents and aunts and uncles surrounding them. It was a simple leather book, with the images slipped in and preserved behind plastic but it held up surprisingly well over time. Even though I looked at it more times than I could count. Even though this May those images will turn 42 years old.

But what about couples that marry today? What if they decide to forgo an album? What if they decide it’s not worth the cost? How many images do you really think they’ll put into frames? Five? Ten? Maybe that first year married, they’ll have a bunch. But then, kids comes along. Baby pictures replace wedding pictures in those frames. They move, things change. In 40 years, how many pictures do you think their children will know by heart? How many pictures will they have even seen?

Today, a lot of couples think just getting the disc of images is good enough. Here’s the problem with that thinking: it’s not true. Not by a long shot.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that getting the files from your day is great. Today’s couples probably get up to 1,000 images from their wedding, WAY more images than my parents did. After all, what happened to all those other images from my parents’ wedding day? They probably sat, negatives in a box, at their photographer’s studio never again to see the light of day. So I think it’s wonderful that couples get ALL their photos. But what worries me is that even with that option, it won’t mean that today’s couples will necessarily be better off. My fear is that today’s couples will actually end up with LESS than what my parent’s got in 1971.

Think about it, will the computers of 2055 even have DVD drives? USB ports? Will they even have hard drives at all? If the past is any indication, the answer is no. You know what the big technological advancement was when my parents got married? Eight-track players. What if their images were stored on the equivalent of that? How in the world would I see those images today?

But you know what never becomes obsolete? What never goes out of style? Photographs. And not just any photographs. Not photos printed at a drugstore. Professional photographs, printed by a professional lab. Those are the photos you find in an attic. It could be a 100-year-old photo, but it still looks good. Because back then, the paper photographs were printed on was high quality and developing them was an art form. There were no machines that spit out pictures onto cheap paper with inexpensive ink. I actually have to stop myself from intervening when I see people at those automated machines in a drugstore. Whatever they’re charging, it’s too much. Because those prints aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. They will fade. They will curl. They will not stand the test of time. Not even close.

Your memories are worth more than that. And your wedding images? They are worth TONS more than that. These aren’t snapshots from a vacation. They aren’t pictures from your iPhone. You cared enough about these moments to hire a professional to photograph them. Follow that through by having a professional print them. Have that professional print the pictures you put into frames and have them design you a high-quality wedding album that you will cherish for decades.

If you purchase an album through your photographer, you can see a sample in person. You can touch and feel it and make sure it is worth every penny.

I know that albums are expensive. That’s for good reason. They are custom-designed books, usually hand-stitched and hand assembled and made just for you.

But of all the things you spend money on for your wedding, your wedding photographs are the ONLY thing that will increase in value over time. As the years pass, you’ll be more and more glad that you have them. Especially, if you can experience looking through them by flipping through a gorgeous custom-designed album instead of sitting in front of your computer and clicking “next” with your mouse.

So, figure out a way to make it happen. Figure out a way to afford that album. Forgo a centerpiece. Cut back on your guest list. Opt out of the vintage car you’ll drive in for all of 20 minutes.

Don’t just do it for you. Do it for your children. Do it for your grandchildren. Because when they root around in your attic in 2075, they will have no idea what do with a USB key anymore than they would with a laser disc player.”

I know I’ll spend on photos on every notable occasion in my life. I have always done that and I will continue to do so. WOuld you keep memories alive for your generations to come?

Posted in m@dness

Of forgotten memories

“Many things that seemed to be the crux of our existence at one point in time slowly fade away into memories and then into archives of insignificance in the larger chapters of our lives. We can’t even mourn or be happy about them because we don’t remember them in the first place.”- Manuscrypts

It’s strange, what memory keeps and ruefully discards.For example, I don’t remember the time the top of my head didn’t even reach the desk, or the time when I was on my toes craning to reach the top end of the fridge where the chocolates were kept and falling short. And a lot of childhood memories that I do have, are derived from snapshots taken back then. Moments frozen beautifully in an innocent time, when if I fell down I could cry and scream, without looking around to see if anyone noticed. When chocolate could sinfully drip down my chin and people would say “How cute!” instead of “What a slob!” When “Oh god please tell me” was the way to go and the solution for some of the biggest problems we faced!

My episodic memory, is primarily made up of photographs, or certain startling moments, be it happy or sad, of certain words spoken, looks and tones. However, entire years have been blocked out of memory, almost as if they never happened. I remember a birthday party my mother hosted for me when I was 5 because I see photographs of it now and then. I remember going cycling with a few friends when I was in 6th Standard and had a ladybird as MY VEHICLE because I still have its basket in my store room. I remember putting the fishes of my my brother’s aquarium into the water tank because my family still makes fun of me.

I have memories of my childhood, bits and pieces and sometimes it disturbs me. Aren’t we supposed to remember every minute detail of our lives or are we just supposed to forget so that we get space in our minds to create new memories? I remember some things but seem to have forgotten most of it. Coming back to where I started, I remember having a fascination towards barbie dolls when I was a young girl and hated sharing it with anybody except Gou(who used to be my playmate when I was about 10 yrs old). It was the centre of my universe once upon a time and just the other day when I gave it all away to my niece, I didnt feel anything at all! It was only when I thought why I had kept it for so long that I realised that it used to be the essence of my life once upon a time. Trivial I know, but I realised right then that there were so many other things that were important to me and tht time erased all memories of.

I wrote this today because I met a person on the road the other day. I was sure I knew the person from somewhere but just couldnt remember the name! This person walked up to me and called out my name and hugged me as I stood there, flabbergasted. This person went on to ask how I was doing and gave me updates about life and talk about the stuff we used to do. We talked for a full 15 minutes in a very animated fashion. This person finally said bye after saying how weird it was that we were best friends in school for about 5 years n still never kept in touch after school! It took me about ten minutes after this person went, to actually recollect this person’s name! I felt disgusted by all of it. Sad actually. At the tricks time plays on all of us.

As I write this I remember things, places, people and experiences that I used to cherish once upon a time. All these that used to be the crux of my existence at one point in time in my life which have become nothing but  shards of a forgotten past. None of it makes any impact on my life now and I  dont think it will be the centre of my universe ever again.  Slowly I began to accept  that a moment can mean a thousand different things. Indelible impressions can be left on people and places. And I suddenly understood the innate depth of a memory. I know I can’t stop time. I can’t capture light. But I know I would love to delve deeper into my treasure chest of memories. In search of answers, however profound or silly. Yes, I am staring at an abyss. Now will the abyss please stare back at me?Maybe someday that which we lost to time, will come back to us and remind us of a forgotten past and gift us a smile or a tear maybe.

Footfalls echo in the memory

Down the passage which we did not take

Towards the door we never opened
~T.S. Eliot

Posted in m@dness, Moanday Mornings

Just when you think its over

Pain is a funny thing. Just when you think the wound is healing and the scars are fading away,you get hurt in the same place and there is excruciating pain as though the wound is fresh. There should be some mechanism in the body (Read:  mind) wherein the same wound  doesnt pain as much as the first time. Its like you move on in life and try not to look back and all that and suddenly you meet people who knew you from the past and they ask you about the past you dont want to remember or talk about. Then again, you are thrown back into the abyss call the past.

Like I  have mentioned earlier, I  used to be this social person. Extremely social I would say. And then things changed. I don’t like people. I dont like meeting new people nor do I like catching up with people I used to know. New people means starting from scratch, talking about stuff, trying to make conversations, trying to have similar tastes and likes, spending time that you arent sure would do you any good or not and mostly letting yourself vulnerable to pain, again. People I know from long are a different story. I dont like them because they know too much from the past and I hate being burdened with it or questioned on it. I avoid them because they keep asking you questions from the life you once had, reminding you of tough times and crazy people and point fingers at you for not listening to them. Once again adding more volume to the pain. So either ways, people being people adds on to the pain.

Maybe I am becoming a sociophobic person. I do not know. I hardly use facebook, I blog as an unknown person, I dont make new friends and hardly make an effort to keep old ones, I listen to music on my headphone while travelling and gymming just to avoid conversations, I dont pick up phone calls unless the caller calls me twice simaltaneously and I avoid functions and social gatherings. Yes, I am becoming one helluva socio phobic person and have no qualms about it.

Isnt it truly funny, how much pain can actually change you? You simply have to ride it out, hoping that it goes away on its own, hoping that the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. It hits you so hard that you it just takes you down with it. You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can’t outrun it and life always makes more.

Posted in m@dness

Running away

Have you ever thought of running away? Yes, I have. A couple of times. On trips to Bangalore when I was my own and only company, I have thought of just running off to some place where not a soul would know me or find me. Its not that I have too many problems in life but there are problems that I really have to run away from. Thoughts and memories that keep coming back to me no matter what. And that is frustrating. I was never like this. I loved life. I had people telling me that I had a spark in me, a spark that would never go off even if I was having a bad time.

Now there isn’t anyone telling me anything. No spark, no people. I cry all the time..I get annoyed very fast.. I shout..I act bad to people…n Now, all I want to do is run!

I want to run away from everything. It was a point where I could just not put up with anything or anyone. I couldn’t take it any longer. I just want to run. I took a long way home one day to decide what I want to do in life and thought. I realised slowly as tears blurred my eyes that no matter where I run, I am never going to get any peace of mind. I realised it is not people who were pulling me down, it’s the thoughts and memories. People remind me of good times I had and how it all ended. They remind me of places, times and memories. I am carrying it all in my mind, afraid that if I let it go, I might not survive. I tried to cry it out, but then the pain turned into anger and I couldnt.

Running away…but lately  I have  realized, the one thing I want to run away from is the person I am… from myself… but darn- it just keeps coming with me wherever I go!

If one day, I muster the courage to run, don’t stop me n don’t come looking for me…

Posted in close to heart, m@dness

Final Goodbye

Sudeep VP, my best friend for 20 years died in an accident on 29th October 2011. I cursed him for a lot of things when i saw him lifeless but out of all that I cursed him the most coz he didnt even say bye to me….and I decided, if ever I am unable to say goodbye when I go this is what I would’ve wanted to say…

The time has come, my friends, to say goodbye,goodbye to the life I’ve lead so far. I can’t really imagine where I am gonna go. The future is hazy, don’t know where I’m going to end up, but the past, it is clear in my head. These memories, I shall carry with me. Going through the memories I have in my head, each one’s got a story to tell, I relive the countless events, with my favourite people in the world, who, its so bloody scary to think, will not even be a part of me( I cant say my life coz I wont have one!).  I don’t want to die, I dont want to say goodbye. I wish I could capture this moment, keep it with me, so we’ll never have to say goodbye, so we can come back here together, as it always should be, whenever we would like to.
But, its out of my hands now. The universe is too big to worry about us, this is the way it functions. I don’t think I’ll have happier days than these, no matter heaven or hell, but all good things must come to an end, and this is it.

So, goodbye, we shared lots of laughs. As I lie here and remember, I get this bittersweet feeling, something I have never experienced before, something I cant explain to you, but I’m sure you already know the feeling. You guys are the greatest and I will miss you, miss you always!

Remember I loved you all a lot more than I had ever told you and I will wait at the end of the tunnel just to see you all again…..

Goodbye