“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”
– Alen Cohen
Change, they say, is inevitable. I don’t know about courage, but for really big changes, it sure takes some big time preparation. And by preparation I don’t just mean manic shopping! Today I stand at the crossroads of my life. A place I knew I was going to arrive at, sooner than later. And somehow I wasn’t aware it would also bring with itself a bundle of mixed emotions.
It’s not easy to leave a world that is nothing if not familiar. A fixed amount of money making its way into the bank account every month, a boss whose mood swings I have come to understand and work my way around, a fixed routine of early morning n late evening bus rides and car pooling. Familiar faces everywhere – the bus, the roads, the neighborhood. The same paths that leads to the same places, even the familiar trainer at the gym! I may not have made, or kept even, too many friends here at work, but the last couple of years were all about getting used to change. Trying my hand at cooking, losing loved ones, catching up with friends, letting go of people who have no value for me, learning to live with das once again, where I can easily get away with moodswings, laziness, and downright SLOTH! An office where I knew my stuff, worked myself into things I had known only in books and taken up jobs that I never knew I was good at.
And soon this phase will be over… All this familiarity will change.
New place, new people, and a husband and a household to take care of too! I have never imagined myself get married, be someone’s wife and all that. I always thought I had too much of a wild streak to settle down, be the woman around the house, or even take the trouble of making changes in my life to be with someone else. And now, I am doing just that. And guess what – it doesn’t feel like a compromise. It makes me happy, a tad bit apprehensive and intimidated maybe, but very happy. Probably this comes from all the trust that has firmly made its place in my mind over the last few months. And the fact that the person I will be with after all these changes in my life, is understanding along with so many other nice things 😉 Not predictable at all mind you, but very, very understandable( I think I meant understanding).
I have been asked how I feel about all these changes. Well, I haven’t consciously sat down and analysed my feelings over it. But from whatever thought I have given it, I do know I am not in the least bit sad. Or unsure. Though I am unsure of my abilities as a wife and let’s face it – a daughter in law and sister in law, or sometimes of even finding my footing at a new place, I am not upset. In fact I am ready for change. And all the fun that’s in store for me. Us. 🙂
Today I quit my job of two years. Today I said goodbye to a lot of people. Some that I was happy to say bye to and some that I know I’ll miss. Today I am letting go of my fears of whether I was capable of being an HR professional or not. I am good at it. Today I am proud to say I am great at writing and branding. Today I bid adieu to the endless hours of traveling. Today I vow to be committed to reducing my weight at least till August 30th. Today I promise to spend as much time as I can with Das, my family and friends. Today i am happy. Today is a new beginning!
Tomorrow I am starting on a journey. Kind of a passage before i reach the other side in 77 days!An exile for ten days. No phones. No internet. No friends. Nobody but myself. Here’s to me time!!!!!!
P.S- The sadists dont be too glad! Ro and I are having an amazing journey so far and cannot wait to get married to each other. So if you thought that I was going on exile bcoz I had a tiff with him, screw you! Ro was annoyed at the fact that I wont be available on whats app and skype for these ten days. Which means he cannot go without seeing me even for a day! How sweet 😉 so YES, screw you and your sadism! Get a life, will you! Oh I will have control over all this bullish behaviour when am back after ten days.
See you on the other side 🙂