Posted in m@dness


Some people say they will be there with you no matter what happens, some others will walk away from your life for reasons that dont make any sense at all and then there is the third category of people who will not just say that they will be there for you at all times, but will also hold your hand and walk with you through the happiest and worst of times. Thank god for them.

Am off for a week. No phones, no internet, nobody. I took a stand. And am glad I did. People who know me well, know that I am doing nothing wrong. And they are with me in the decisions I make. I am sick and tired of living life according to other people’s rules and so starting now, I am going to live life the way I chose to live it, the way I want.

Before I go, here’s a little something for you to ponder on; Do not ever comment on someone else’s life or the mistakes they make when you have done the same thing in the past. Someone forgave you and held you close inspite of all the mistakes you commited. Then why not give someone another chance? Why lose people to petty egos and misconceptions? Life is too damn short to waste it on hating and losing friends. And for once in your  life, just one damn time, be happy for someone else. The moment you start seeing happiness in other people,you will see your own miseries slipping away.

Oh and lastly, dont let anyone and I mean anyone take away what makes you happy. Its just not worth the hassle.

As for me, I am off to a place to meet someone whose mere presence makes me the happiest 🙂

Have a great week ahead 🙂

“Aint no mountain high enough

Aint no valley low enough

Aint no river wide enough

that keeps me from getting to you”

Posted in close to heart


Its a monday morning and I am just back from a camp at  Munnar. I am not too sure if  it was the climate there or the very nostalgia I have for that place, but something got me thinking. I’ll probably write about the trips I have taken someday. So as I sat on the steps , looking up at the stars when the temperature was a minus 2, i thought about how totally unpredictable life was. When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house of the person you dreaded the most becomes your second home, the job you took up to while away time becomes your lifeline, the friends you thought would be there along vanish and the person who you thought would be your one true love becomes someone else’s posession.

We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself, that the future is never the way we imagined it and no matter how much we seem to have prepared,we cannot even control it.

But yes, when  it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you stay alive. That’s how you survive. So all I can probably say to everone I know is to prepare yourself for the worst so that you manage to smile even when the world around you is crashing down. Also, that way the slightest good thing would make your day a happier one.

Posted in m@dness

When I got thinking

When you get a holiday on a working day, what do you do? Me… I cook, read, watch TV and above all think. I’ve been thinking, about nothing in particular, and everything in general. The outlook is rather grim, for some reason. I’m not very clear as to what that reason is. I suspect it is more because of self indulgence than any concrete malady. So, now, I obviously have to overanalyze it. Goodness, this blog must be the most mixed up collection of crap in the world. Or maybe not. Lets not be presumptuous so early in the day.

Sorrow, pain, misery. It has some sort of strange glamour attached to it. The songs that touch us the most are the ones that speak of loss, and unrequited emotions, and what could have been. Just look at that very astute index of human emotions, the old Orkut(Remember Orkut?? The life before Facebook) profile. So, what did you learn from your past relationship? More often than not, never to trust anyone (girls, in particular, seem to be the most heinous offenders of the heart). Its a not too obtuse way of hinting at a broken heart, a tragedy that lends some texture to life. I call it the Meena Kumari Syndrome(MKS). That esteem able lady made a career out of speaking in a low, sad voice and drinking along. I’ve always laughed (secretly) at people(including myself) lost in sorrows of their own making. Laughing on their faces gives them an opportunity to feel misunderstood, and the pain just keeps increasing.

Recently, it looked like a variant of MKS had come to bite me. This particular variety of the disease makes one angsty and blue for no paricular reason, and manifests in a huge jump in the number of thoughts whirling around in the brain, till the head wants to explode and the heart wants to take a nap. The only reason that seemed to justify this bout of the blues was that my plan wasn’t working out. Which plan, you ask? The Plan. The outline of what life is supposed to be like, the one that I’d worked out when I had when I was just about 8, which was going horribly awry. All of yesterday(or most of last night) I tortured myself (and Das) being listless and listening to bad music, loitering around the house talking to myself. Today I decided that I’d had enough. I wrote down The Plan on a sheet of paper, and threw it out in the trash(No I didnt burn n flush it like Kareena in Jab We Met. Maybe I should have). Symbolism, very profound. I don’t care, The Plan can take a hike in the garbage truck. If I’m gonna be inflicted with MKS, I’m gonna own up to it and not hide behind silly reasons like The Plan. And the next time you ask if anything’s wrong, and I say nothing’s wrong, and continue to mope anyway, you’ll know that I’m telling the truth. It is precisely ‘nothing’ that makes me sad most often. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to sleepwork. Some things are sacred.

                                                                  “Tell me now what would you do, what would you say?
                                                                     When there is no black or white, only shades of grey.”
Posted in m@dness


Sleep comes in a small bottle of clearless liquid.

Conversation comes in the silent call of a phone that never rings.

Laughter is a strange sound that falls on the ears.

Forgetfulness is an art in the course of remembering.

I should remember to forget.

Love is a feeling too scared to explore.

The voice is always too far away for the fingers to touch.

Questions are the answers one doesn’t want said.

Sadness is the coziest chair I ever sat on.

Choices are the most difficult decisions to never make.

Tears are the bookmarks at every event of my life.

Death is a photograph on the wall.

Posted in m@dness

All in a week


Its crazy what life can throw at you in one week. The different moods you’re in and the different people you have to dealwith. You never know whats just around the corner and is waiting to hit you smack dab in the face. Everyone learns to deal with what life throws at them in their own way. Whether its dealing with it up front or suppressing it to the back of their mind and pretending its not there. In the end everyone has the same goal. To survive each passing day. But the reason for doing this is never told to you and you will most likely never find out. You just learn to accept it.

Once again, am rambling!! Thoughtless Thursdays it is !