Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Love is all around me

Never judge a post by its title 😉 I am not going to write about the famous Wet wet wet song or my nostalgia associated with it. However, these days this song keeps playing in my head..like a constant background music of sorts.  SO, back to my post…We, Ro n I celebrated 50 days of being married and one month of me arriving here in a nice and soft way. He made dinner(chicken Ro style) and we binged on Ice cream and cake. As I lay awake that night, my thoughts went back to the beginning. In life, there are some moments that stay frozen inside our minds. I dont have many but the ones I have will just not go away. The first time I laid my eyes on ro or my first sight of him is one such moment my brain seems to have frozen. He says I shouldnt write about it coz it’ll embarass him. 🙂 why would I let an opportunity pass!

While our parents seem to think that we first met at my place, we stay corrected. If the first date and first impression is supposed to decide things, we’d never get married! We decided to meet at my favourite coffee place(thats a post for another day), Cocoa tree. He said he’ll be there at 11 am and I had to sit inside, waiting inside the cafe which was still not open for the day( the perks of being a regular). So while I waited anxiously for 11:00 am, I order a usual Irish Chocolate drink. He calls to say he’ll be a few minutes late. Ahem…First date…n late. The friends said, dont wait, get up n leave. He is just not worth it. I decided to wait anyway since he said few minutes. And then…he arrived. At 11:45 am on 8th February 2013, I laid my eyes on him for the first time and somehow I knew it wasnt the last I’ll see of him. His hand, is what I saw first and then his ass and then his face. Yes, in that order. No, when I saw his hand I didnt know it was his. It was only when I saw his face that I realised it was him! Rest as they say is history…

To be honest, I was scared of a lot of things then. Funny as it may sound now, I had almost decided not to say yes to anybody. I was scared. Of a lot of things. Opening up to a new person, an unknown person. Committing to someone when I didnt know how committed he was or would be. Fear of being ripped apart, again. Loving again, apprehension and what not. But then, the moment I saw him first, it was amazing the way my heart felt light. Like a sign that this was it, this was the heart I was meant to be in. As cheesy as it may sound, it was true. When I think back now, I know it was the best decision ever.

A marriage is magical. It’s poetic, the rhythm of each day as it settles into a routine, the crackle as we figure out the differences. It’s  full of promise, excitement, surprises. It’s where dreams just might come true. There don’t really have to be harps playing, or birds singing, or rose petals falling from the sky everyday. And there are definitely days when the romance is dead, when there are arguments and when the differences become a bit annoying… but if you look around, things are pretty amazing…its lovely, its magical..its marriage.

 
The day we met
Frozen, I held my breath
Right from the start
I
 knew that I found a home for my heart

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
 
                                             – Christina Perri- A Thousand Years
 

Oh and when I asked him what his first memory of me was, he stared at me, blank. So typical!

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Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 24

When you are in a relationship, some days are spectacular and some days you feel that the whole thing might be a huge mistake.It can be scary to find out you’ve been wrong about something but we can’t be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they’ll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong. Thats when I think, maybe we should all just believe it, all this “meant to be” stuff. Why not believe it, really? Who doesn’t want more romance in their life? Maybe it’s just up to us to make it happen. To show it whenever you can and be meant for each other. I am sure that’ll make everything alright.

Then again, there don’t have to be fireworks all the time, or birds flying all at once, or wind blowing in a very swish swash way. And there are definitely days when the romance is dead… but if you look around, things are pretty amazing. So stop for a second, enjoy the beauty, feel the magic, drink it in because it may not last forever. The romance might fade, things will happen, people will change, love may die but maybe not today. It doesn’t have to be today.

And when we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle, a weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter, and for a brief moment, we realize that love does conquer all.

Posted in close to heart

Note(e) in the mood-22

Yesterday was a blah day and  from the looks of it, today too will be one such day. To dream of a world where nothing ever went wrong, no relationships ever went sour, and things happened so smoothly that at least I didn’t have to bother about damage control. Is. Stupid. To get depressed on realising every time that that ideal world does not exist. Is. Fatal.

Will I learn?Ever?

I have nothing to say, no judgements, no errors in judgement to speak of. No half baked opinions or path breaking ideas, no self derogatory (or just derogatory) jokes, no critical illnesses, no mental health issues. No sarcasm. No brimming excitement-over-nothing. No love song in my head, no arguments brewing.

Just a peaceful easy feeling.

Take it from me, I have never felt like this before!

I know I am contradicting. But hell, thats exactly how I feel. Now.

Posted in RoMa Chronicles

Love Bits-3

100 days ago he walked into my life with an ease that only he is capable of! The first time we met, he made me wait for 45 minutes! I would have called it quits but the man really bowled me over with his apologetic smile:).After 3 meetings and hours of talk, I know he is the best thing to happen to me. We have been counting each day from the day we decided to spend our lives together and with each passing day, we have realized how difficult it is to stay apart from each other.

The best thing about being opposites is that you make up for each other’s shortcomings… you may not always double each other’s best, but you may nullify each other’s worst !! What probably got us together was that we realized that both of us are equally crazy in our own ways..and then we got comfortable and found a friend in each other…and later accepted each other for life !! and the fun continues…the fights continue…n ofcourse, thats not all ! 🙂

That’s the story so far…and we look forward to a beautiful life ahead in 100 days!

As Khalil Gibran wrote:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 20

It’s a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. You are thick friends on one day and then in a moment it all changes. Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you of who you care about the most. Sometimes you find yourself becoming stronger as a result; wiser, better equipped to deal with the next disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always.So when exactly do you decide to give up trying? Admit that a lost cause is sometimes just that? There comes a point when it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all. And lets all just remember this always, nobody chooses to be a freak, to commit mistakes. Most people don’t realize they’re a freak and have committed a heinous crime until it’s way too late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there’s still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they’ve already moved on. There is also a chance that you fight for the relation to work and you realise that you are the only one who seems to want it to work and then you give it all up. Because when it comes to time and relationships, even freaks can’t wait forever.

Posted in m@dness

Ramblings-2

I am not exactly sure why, but i seem to be on a rambling spree these days. Today as I sit down to write I have a  zillion disconnected thoughts on my mind. And so I decided that for a change I’ll just type whatever is on my mind. Again, let me warn you that none of it will have any connection!

Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time… Time to stand up… Time to grow up…Time to let go…

I know we’ve had our differences, and I’m sorry we’ve been out of touch. Believe it or not, I was trying to make everything better. I know you’re angry. I hope you’ll forgive me. Someday.

Too often, the thing you want most, is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be… the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want.

Sometimes, when people say sorry, you just have to forgive them. Coz there may come a time when you would be asking for forgiveness and that person might just not accept it. “What goes around, comes around.”

Sometimes the people who you give least value to can change your life.

Maybe I do believe it, all this “meant to be” stuff. Why not believe it, really? Who doesn’t want more romance in their life? Maybe it’s just up to us to make it happen. To show up and be meant for each other. At least that way you’ll find out for sure – if you’re meant to be or not.

When we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle; it’s funny, isn’t it? A weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter, and for a brief moment, we find a little peace.

I’m a human being. I make mistakes. I’m flawed. We all are.

Posted in close to heart

Not(e) in the mood- 17

People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.

In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.

To be fully seen by somebody, understood by them, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous and that my dear is pure love!