Posted in The Chronicles of A

You are two!

Dear Ami,

We have known you for exactly 2 years and 10 months. Almost 1000 days. You are a part of us now. I have always taken pride in the fact that unlike your dad, am very verbal. I speak my mind. However, it now scares me to think that i may or may not be in a position to tell you what I want to tell you. So I am going to write you a letter every year to tell you things I may not remember to.

I had no clue what to do with you! For the past 2 years, you have been the number one source of my worry and happiness! As you learned, I learned too. You were neither my need nor want. You were probably the way god showed me what  my purpose in life was. And what a gift it was! Everyday since the day I have known you, I have prayed for you, over you. My little ami, I have loved every moment with you, but it has been painful and exciting to see the time pass and to see you grow into the beautiful person you’re meant to be. Painful because I want to freeze time and memorize your speech, your tiny fingers, and tiny toes. I want to remember your funny faces, your laugh, and your love for life. Painful because I want the moments of you crying out for me to last forever but painful because never do I wish to see you hurt. Painful because I know this time is too precious. I want time to slow down so that we can hold on to these cherished days forever. But it’s also been exciting, too. To hear you say words and then 3 word sentences to 4 and 5 word sentences. To see yyou run n jump. Recite nursery rhymes and hear you catch new words. I had my heart ripped out when I had to take the decision of putting you at a daycare. I want you to know it wasn’t easy. But you my tiny ami, made it easy for me.

I want you to smile my dear. It is so pure that it really will make another’s world seem brighter. And you my dear, have the power to change the world with your smile. Over compliment people. Make their day! Love wholeheartedly and unconditionally. People will hurt you n rip your soul but that is when I want you to remember the time you learnt to walk. You fell, tore your skin, ripped your knee, cried but you still walked. You ran, infact. All it takes is try.  You are exquisite dear. To me, no matter what happens, you will be number 1. you will be my most special human being! I want you to know yourself, to know your soul. To do that, you must be truthful to yourself. Your conscience must be clear at all times. I know I will raise you well and so I know that the choices you make will be wise.

And always always always remember, what made the stars, made you too. Never doubt the light you shed. And last but not the least ever, on the days you feel low,remember that the man who said he loves you first, still does and will always mean it and the woman who first kissed you, did so, unconditionally. We will always be there for you and accept what you want to be. We will be your Armour and Shield.

Happy Birthday Princess.

Posted in close to heart

The Other M

THe workplace doesnt seem like the old place anymore. Not with you missing. I still see the same people every morning, still smile at all of them but you aren’t around so I cant give my special smile. We were college mates( at least for a year) and never knew of each others existence! We have met at countless instances and still not been aware of each other. Its weird. Its funny how we became such thick friends in just a year. Not saying much. Just that I miss you.

The pulling each others’ legs o’er each thing small or big,

The lifting up spirits when one is down,

The going together for a nibble or a loo break

& trying to wipe off each others’ frown.

The begging for treats on every occasion,

The planning to go to the gym or was it swimming or both?

The “detailed discussions” of the future,

All the while sitting around in the sauna!!

The notions to do something different,

The super bitching sessions about the boss n office

The decisions to watch a movie or not to,

The unlimited hours of gossip,

The kind words of encouragement.

The long talks over the walks n workouts

ALL the messages

All these things–& more,

May seem to last just a while.

But the moments are PRICELESS,

Posted in m@dness

Somedays…. wake up knowing that the sun  isn’t bright as it usually is n its dark n gloomy outside. You are late n your hair refuses to behave and a large, red zit makes itself comfortable on your nose. No time for breakfast and the cup of tea that you just about have time to drink burns your tongue. You drop the phone on your way out and it bursts into three separate pieces, the battery goes flying right to the end of that tiled porch. After you reach the gate, you realise that the oh-so-important- parcel is still on the dining table and you turn your front door knob three times the wrong way before you get it right. The rains cause damage to the already crappy road and the traffic on the road forces you to slug forward at snail pace. You give people in other cars the best glare you got, wishing you could get away with showing them “The Finger” and drive off through the long, windy road to sign into the office a good 20 minutes late. The boss chooses this day to be in one of his worst moods ever. The management announces that there are no seasonal bonuses this year and as usual you have to “get the message across” to people concerned. The friend ditches dinner and you are stuck alone on a Tuesday evening to sulk all by yourself. The person you are trying to make a life with is busy making “moves” to alter his life.You head home, sadder but none the wiser. You get one good bang on the back of your head courtesy the headboard as you try to snuggle in and block the world out. One last sigh, one last prayer… Please let tomorrow be better.

Some days…

….you get to leave office early. You overhear someone appreciating you. Your old friend calls you to ask how you’ve been. The friend calls you over for dinner and you talk, talk n talk. The person is happy so you are too.

And you go to sleep with a grin that refuses to be wiped off and a prayer… Please let everyday be exactly like this one.



Posted in Interesting Reads

Smile n Frown

Smiling takes effort, when a frown will do just as well,

just some way to shape your lips when most of the time not a single soul will notice but we still try and put on a show. Whether I smile or frown, is all a part of the role I play.

Apparently showing the pain or hiding it shows our judges of character and whether I want to roll up in a ball and hide behind a wall of sheets is my decision. It doesn’t show that I am weak, and do not belong here.

Then does smiling show that I am a fool with no heart and am just an empty shell without a soul.

Either way I am judged incorrectly. So I chose to neither smile nor frown. Both take too much effort,but still cost the same amount of pain.


Posted in m@dness

Being Strong

He knew his words would scar her trust. He knew he was the reason for her tears. the world would throw stones on him. The world – silent spectators of a story unknown to them. He would smile through his wounds. tomorrow the world would smile with him and she would smile with the world. These tears would make her bold. these wounds would make her stronger than a man, these wounds would make her a woman.

He never believed in destiny till he came face to face with the society. he had no faith in miracles and now he prays for one! He knows his intentions and he follows his heart. He might be wrong but this is a risk he has to take for tomorrow remains a mystery to them. He would smile through his wounds. tomorrow the world would smile with him and she would smile with the world.

*He is not a person who is difficult to change, he is just scared of the change.