Posted in Interesting Reads

The “Ittotte” Story

First things First. “Ittotte” in Malayalam(My mother tongue) means shall i put it here. Trust me, this one is a nice read for anyone who is looking for opportunities.

“As we waited at the signal for the lights to turn green, a lottery ticket seller approached the car and pushed a bunch of tickets in front of me. I tried to shoo him away but he would not go. Muttering under my breath, I waited for the light to turn green and so that I could just speed away. I hate people, esp youngsters begging and selling things on the street!

That was when I heard the ‘Ittotte?’ story for the first time.

Once upon a time, on a tree by the roadside, there lived a wizened old madman. He would threaten passers-by, with a heavy sack in his hand, asking, “Ittottee?” which in Malayalam means, “Shall I drop this on you?”

The passers-by would all hasten away, fearing that he would indeed be mad enough to actually drop the heavy sack on them.

Until one day, a boy took on the old man and agreed that the sack could be dropped down on him.

The old man in surprise asked the boy once again, if he was sure that he wanted the sack to be dropped.

The boy nodded in affirmation.

“Are you very sure?” The old man asked repeatedly “It will hurt you”.

“Very sure, very sure. Drop the sack down”, the boy said categorically.

The old man dropped the heavy sack. Very carefully though, ensuring that the sack did not really fall on the boy and hurt him.

The boy was a bit surprised that the ‘madman’ had not thrown the sack down on him, but let it down so gingerly.

“Can I open it?” he asked the old man.

“It’s yours” the old man answered and smiled wryly.

The boy opened the sack and found it was filled with gold and precious stones.

Not sure of the wrinkled old man’s intentions, the boy looked up quizzically.

“Take it take it” the old man said “I’m glad that I found at least one person who has the good sense to receive what I have for him, before I die.”

This is what the story taught me, as I complained about the nuisance of the vendor – that we are only what we see, and that we get only what we agree to receive. Where everybody else ‘saw’ a threat in the unexpected sound of “Ittotte?” from above, the boy saw an opportunity

Many of us similarly, choose to flee from our good fortune, because success too often appears scary.

We are all hearing the question “Ittotte?” loudly and clearly in many different ways, everyday in our lives from equally unfamiliar and odd circumstances or moments.

What does it take to learn to say yes and not run away from our ‘Ittottee?’ ?

Opportunity does not come before us with a placard reading ‘your opportunity’ written out in big fat bold letters. It most often seems quite threatening like the ‘Ittotte?’ man in this story.

Thinking about it today, I wish I knew from which little book was this little thought revealed? Or was I destined to hear it, because I often run away from the opportunities life presents?

I wish I knew…”

Posted in fiction


2007:I love you. I miss you. I will always be with you. I cannot live without you. I want to marry you. You are different.
2011:Oh my parents will not agree. Oh our cultures are different. Oh you will not fit in my family. You are different.
2013:Truth. Lies. I’ll never know. Life will continue. With you or without you.
Posted in close to heart, fiction, m@dness


Why doesn’t she just leave?
It’s the first question people ask, when they come to know of her plight.She stays because she hopes it will get better. Maybe they can talk it out and make things work. Maybe she will make him happy again. Maybe he will find a way.
She stays because she is ashamed that they have come to this, that she has allowed him to treat her this way, that she has taken him back before.
She stays because she doesn’t have the courage, hope and willingness to start all over again.
She’s scared to try to make it alone in this big bad world. She is worried she has lost the time and has crossed the age to find life and love again.
She holds on because she is afraid.

He has told her that she can never leave him because thats the love she has. He says that his memories will haunt her no matter where she goes and what she does.He has warned her that the marks and scars, physical and emotional will be with her for the rest of her life.She knows that he means it.

But that was till she realized the love she gave was never acknowledged nor returned. That was till she understood that he was taking her for a ride. She cried her heart out. She screamed and howled and cried for missing him. She went over each memory she had with him and lived through it one last time. She missed him as much as she could so that the missing would decrease as each day passed.

That was till she gave up being the girl she was and turned into a fine lady ready to take on the world. She gained the courage, the wisdom and the skill to show the world she was not ready to give up just yet. She woke up to a new day, a new woman, a new dream and a new story. She told herself she would never ever give up on love and that she will never let a man bring tears to her eyes.

She started writing her own destiny, her own story.When she needs to know just how human she is, She will touch the scars, look at them and remember. And if she remembers enough, she will cry. Then she will ignore them again and go on being happy.

And I wish her this:

Someday she’ll find the man that she wished he could’ve have been.
And he’ll be just another heartbreak in her past that will lead her to the one that’s meant to last.

Posted in Uncategorized

Small Wonder(s)

She is a charmer, he thought as he spotted her walk in.

She looked around in the crowd.

Her face lit up and eyes twinkled with joy as she caught a glimpse of him.

Slowly she edged her way towards him.

“Welcome to McDonald little princess”, he said smiling warmly.

Posted in fiction

A game of sorts- Solitaire

Gina had always been aware of her good looks, her long, lustrous hair. She knew the flutter of hearts as she pouted her full pink lips and threw her head back, letting the tresses bounce, and settle down, like waves on the seashore. How many secret glances had she stolen from men;married,bachelors,old men and youngsters!

She knew, from his frequent glances at their table, that she had captured his attention.

“Mom, I am going to a play tomorrow,” she spoke up, suddenly, and rather loudly, for his benefit. He looked up from his tomato soup, bit into a bread roll, and looked down again.

It’s called `Solitaire.’ Just two of us are going, Sheila and I. You won’t mind being alone for an evening, will you?”

Mother was the strong, silent type. “Sure, go ahead. I’ll catch up with the housework.”

Their family consisted of just the two of them. It had been that way, since the death of her father, 4  years ago. During the first two years, she was a teenager. Staying close to mother was easy. Now, she wanted to be free, unfasten the shackles of her mother’s supervision, and meet new people (specifically good looking young men, such as the one at the adjoining table).

It was a weekday evening, and the club wore a deserted look. Mother and daughter were seated facing each other, in the middle of the lawn. The young man was to the girl’s right and she could steal glances at him without attracting attention.

He had now moved on to the main course. She judged him to be about five feet eleven. Half-sleeved shirt complimenting his sinewy build and muscular arms. Firm posture accentuating a broad chest and square shoulders.  The typical gym type. Would he be more brawn, less brain? Could he read her eyes, her occasional glances, or pick up the cue for the play?

Mother was strict about these matters; otherwise she would have talked to him, using some pretext. The Club encouraged members to mix like family, and sometimes such wierd ideas came in handy.

Squarely to her right, and seated facing them, he could not help looking at her. To turn away would be a contrived action, so he looked ahead, yet she noticed he was polite enough not to stare. She turned to her right, glanced at him casually till their eyes met, repeated her trademark head-throw, hair-bounce routine and added a bodice heave to add to his discomfiture.

Presently, the waiter brought the voucher for signatures, first to mother and then to the young man, who studied the debits carefully, signed, and slipped in a tip, much against club rules.

The play,Solitaire was turning out to be tedious. The actors had rehearsed poorly; it showed. The air conditioning kept failing; she fumed. The young man never turned up; the hint hadn’t worked. Gina was not amused.

“All he had to do was look up the morning’s paper under the theatre section, in the entertainment column. Mr. Brawn must have thought I was going for a game of cards,” she spoke, wryly. The curtains finally came down, freeing her from her self-inflicted solitary confinement in a hall full of people.

Dinner would be leftovers, she remembered, with Mom busy fixing the curtains. Feet dragging, heart morose, romance stifled, she trudged back to her sprawling suburban home, a disappointed, depressed, disenchanted adolescent.

Mom had company. That was weird. She was never fond of guests and never encouraged them. So who was this? Why hadn’t she called me?!

A 1960s Fiat 1100, gleaming in the reflection of garden lights, reflecting the owner’s taste for objects well preserved, was parked in the driveway. Lights were on in the living room. She was curious to discover who the visitor was. The front door was ajar. It opened into an anteroom. As she slipped off her shoes, a routine at home to prevent street dust from entering in, she noticed a rugged pair of moccasins. The visitor’s voice floated towards her.

“It has been nice talking to you for so long,” she could hear a man saying. “Isn’t it amazing that we’ve both been members of the club for so many years and have never met? I’ve enjoyed this evening so much that I almost forgot the main reason for coming. Could you be the judge… for the beauty pageant next week at the club? It’s for members only.

“The Committee has asked me to coordinate the event. You know, I was mesmerized when I saw you last evening… And I decided only a woman as beautiful as you can be the judge…”

Slowly, almost on tiptoe, she stepped across the anteroom and peeped into the living room. Lounging by the show case, legs crossed, arms crossed, dressed in a sheer white, translucent round neck T-shirt and blue jeans that set off his physique was… Mr. Brawn. With enough brain to seize the opportunity and take the cue. With the knowledge that older women crave for attention – from strapping young men whom they could mull over, when the mind was idle.

Mom was seated on the divan, her back resting on a cushion against the wall. She must have changed, because she was not attired in a dress designed to fix curtains. Her hair, long and lustrous, flowed loose, her eyes shone and her face was flushed. Nervous, yet exuding feminine charm and grace, she tossed her head back, letting the tresses fall like waves on a seashore, taking in a deep breath, savoring the young man’s air of confidence, biting a trembling lip, flattered, riveted and mesmerized by the modern-day Greek God.

“Please don’t refuse! the young man cajoled in a voice akin to warm honey gliding down the throat. “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer after all the trouble I had finding you. All I had was your code number on the debit slip, and I had to coax the club office manager into giving me your address. By the way, the girl who was with you yesterday… is she your younger sister?”

The girl in question sighed and looked ruefully at her mother. Talk about the other woman! With romance in such doldrums, all she could do was to go up to her room and play a game of cards, all alone… what was it called… Solitaire!