Chocohol!

The certified Chocoholic that I am, I was telling a friend last night about how much I miss Bengaluru for the double high that the Chocolate martini at 64 Bistro used to give me. I figured that the lounge and pubs(The Oh so few) doesn’t serve this one deadly combo. I tried to convince the bartender at the lounge I frequent to make me one, but he politely refused saying he didn’t know how it was made!

SO, me being me, googled for it high and low. Lo and Behold Chocohol came up! Here’s to all the chocolate loves who would love to have a double high with alcohol and chocolate!

Chocohol!!!!

• 1 shot of Chocolate Flavored Vodka (‘Remix’ in India)
• 1 cup Vanilla Ice-Cream
• 1 drop Vanilla Essence
• 1 tsp Caramel Flavored Syrup
• Ice as required
• Chocolate Sauce
• Cocoa Powder

In a blender combine the ice-cream, essence, syrup, ice and a shot of Vodka and give it a good whip till smooth.

Take the cocktail glass, and with your fingers, rub the rim of the glass with chocolate syrup. Dip the rim in cocoa and stand upright. Pour a spoon of chocolate sauce haphazardly onto the insides of the glass.

Proceed by pouring out the vanilla–vodka mix carefully straight in the middle of the glass and serve immediately.

This recipe may not beat the real Bailey’s but it certainly is lighter on the stomach and calories (as no excess sugar or heavy cream is used) and you might just land up having a couple of glasses more.

P.S- Yes I did give this one to the bartender at the lounge 🙂

Whats it like to be you?!

 “We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”

As someone who is running 25 26, I have to admit I am an adult who got mind stuck at around 18 n no one knows better what it means to live such a schizophrenic life. With your friends you’re the sometimes giggly sometimes gloomy gal, with your family its another character, with your “gang” you turn into a crazy monkey and at a social service club, the sober intellectual with invisible spectacles!

So, whats it like to be yourself or rather what does it mean to be yourself? To be consistent in your behaviour and body language?

To me, being yourself is being consistent in your basic ideologies and principles at all times! It means sticking by your word, no matter what!

A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with G regarding an old friend. He was wondering why I wasn’t best buddies with that girl because we were real close while at school. A friend who used to be my best friend. I had to let her go when I realized that she was going against my principles. I have always, always stood against  infidelity. I have seen its effects and its been a strict NO NO for me. My best pals and friends know of the same and I still stand strong n rooted to it. I couldn’t change my opinion for anything in the world and when she cheated on my friend, I knew it was time I let her go.She thought I’d stand by her but I didn’t, I couldn’t. She had different views of life n so did I. I could have turned a blind eye towards what she had done and still had her as my best friend but that would have been me being spineless and hypocritical in my books. I lost her and her friendship and have never found anyone else in her place but I can’t help it. Yes, we talk but its just words.

I don’t see how your behaviour with every single person in your life has much to do with “being yourself”. You relate to every single person in a different manner, don’t you?With friends you aren’t the same as you are with family. Or can you?! You can’t possibly treat every single person in your life as cattle trains. Laugh at every joke every person in your life cracks, scream at one as mindlessly as you can at the other. They’re all different, they all deserve a relatively unique place in your life. So, it’s okay to be one person with your friend, and another with your parents.That’s what I believe to be correct. Theoretically, at least, it sounds okay to me.

The question is doesn’t that make you a little schizophrenic in the end? A little confused about who you really are? A tiny bit disillusioned with people, expectations, morality?

When and how do we come to terms with who we really are at the core? Do we ever?????

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.”

Beauty lies within

A man I once knew told me that Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and my dad keeps telling me that beauty lies within.We live in a world of stereotypes, opinions, judgments and assumptions, which we may not have been party to creating but are influenced by, nonetheless. There is no denying that influential beauty stereotypes exist that fill the pages of fashion magazines and brim over in cinematic endeavors. A desire for perfection- the perfect skin, the perfect hair, the perfect nose… has crept into the mind of every girl.

Beauty beliefs start early in life, I think. When my dad gifted me My First Barbie doll with a pretty white frock and a plastic body, she was my first definition on beauty. The definition has changed dramatically over the years; from a Bollywood actress to a Hollywood actress, from a pop singer to a woman in a corporate suit, from a friend to an aesthetic.

I was in the auto-rickshaw on my way back home from office the other day, battling the usual traffic and potholes that take you right down to hell. As I waited anxiously for the signal to turn green, I saw something. An image that has remained in my memory ever since. A poor old beggar woman was sitting on the pavement. She had deep wrinkles on her face, and the way her sari hung on her gave away her malnutrition.Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have been moved by this sight.But, then I saw her extend her right hand in front of her and smile. I couldn’t help but stare. It was only after a few seconds that I realized there was a broken fragment of a mirror in her hands. She adjusted a few strands of her hair, opened her eyes wide and smiled.
And in that moment, she was the most beautiful woman I’d seen.

And I realized that beauty can never have a base value. It is such a fragile commodity, subjective by its very definition, that there is no generalized basis for what one may consider a thing of beauty. With Photoshop, touch-ups and cosmetic surgery being the talk of the day, this may come across as being a superficial argument. But it truly is a wake-up call to me.  For every day I wake up feeling fat, zit-prone or having an electric shock inspired hairstyle, I think of her happily. 🙂 These days when my male friends look at the “Beautiful” women who have perfect skin, hair n whatever n comment, I smile. I smile coz I believe that someday a man will come who would see the beauty I contain within me and love me inspite of me having far from perfect skin n looks!

“Socrates called beauty a short-lived tyranny; Plato, a privilege of nature; Theophrastus, a silent cheat; Theocritus, a delightful prejudice; Carneades, a solitary kingdom; Aristotle, that it was better than all the letters of recommendation in the world; Homer, that it was a glorious gift of nature; and Ovid, that it was favor bestowed by the gods.”

Surely, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder!

The People I Like

I bet you thought that I was going to list out the people I like n all that! Boo you! Well I’ll just start by quoting Scott Fitzgerald:

“I simply state that I’m a product of a versatile mind in a restless generation — with every reason to throw my mind and pen in with the radicals. Even if, deep in my heart, I thought we were all blind atoms in a world as limited as a stroke of a pendulum, I and my sort would struggle against tradition; try, at least, to displace old cants with new ones. I’ve thought I was right about life at various times, but faith is difficult.”

Before I start,, I was just wondering how ” like” has become such a major part of our lives! Don’t you think so?!? I wonder if a few days/ months/ years later, people’s life altering decisions or just life might actually start depending on the “like” button on facebook!!!

So back to my liking of people. I like the people I meet in general.  Most in my friend circle are fun-loving with a thin streak of sarcasm and spontaneity, a passion for breaking stereotypes n rules and a flair for drama. That’s basically what you will figure out within ten minutes of speaking to me too. 😉 And then I think.There are only SO many people you can genuinely ‘like’.There are people you only claim to like to keep up appearances, and people you like only for the first twenty minutes of conversation. I like a lot of people, genuinely or even otherwise. It’s been a long time I met a person I can not just like, but respect. For their scope of thought or abundant talent. I think the last person I liked out of respect was hmmmm, well…hmmm Aamir Khan. No, not for the tears he shed on every episode of Satyameva Jayate. But, for the fact that he atleast opened a few eyes and bought out a number of social issues we face these days.

Does this make me a sound like a pretentious snob? Sure it does!But I’m just being honest. I feel like meeting Bhagat Singh. Or Oprah Winfrey. Or someone who can just blow me away.Anything to get respite from the drudgery and routine of this monotonous n mundane life. I think we like people when we find them similar to our nature but they earn our respect when they do things out of the way n out of the ordinary.

What do you think?! Who do you respect!?

Related articles

• You are what you watch (madouthere.wordpress.com)

Somedays….

..you wake up knowing that the sun  isn’t bright as it usually is n its dark n gloomy outside. You are late n your hair refuses to behave and a large, red zit makes itself comfortable on your nose. No time for breakfast and the cup of tea that you just about have time to drink burns your tongue. You drop the phone on your way out and it bursts into three separate pieces, the battery goes flying right to the end of that tiled porch. After you reach the gate, you realise that the oh-so-important- parcel is still on the dining table and you turn your front door knob three times the wrong way before you get it right. The rains cause damage to the already crappy road and the traffic on the road forces you to slug forward at snail pace. You give people in other cars the best glare you got, wishing you could get away with showing them “The Finger” and drive off through the long, windy road to sign into the office a good 20 minutes late. The boss chooses this day to be in one of his worst moods ever. The management announces that there are no seasonal bonuses this year and as usual you have to “get the message across” to people concerned. The friend ditches dinner and you are stuck alone on a Tuesday evening to sulk all by yourself. The person you are trying to make a life with is busy making “moves” to alter his life.You head home, sadder but none the wiser. You get one good bang on the back of your head courtesy the headboard as you try to snuggle in and block the world out. One last sigh, one last prayer… Please let tomorrow be better.

Some days…

….you get to leave office early. You overhear someone appreciating you. Your old friend calls you to ask how you’ve been. The friend calls you over for dinner and you talk, talk n talk. The person is happy so you are too.

And you go to sleep with a grin that refuses to be wiped off and a prayer… Please let everyday be exactly like this one.

Somedays…….

 

Life taught me that

• The purpose of going through life is to be confronted and questioned by our beliefs and have them tested by trials of anguish and remorse and to be compelled to form one’s own moral code of existence and existing.
• The need to reiterate love for another stems from the absolute absence of it or the doubt of it
• I cannot be passionate about any thing. I carry all my baggage at all times, and I get drawn by the wind only too easily. It is the only natural way of living I have experienced and I must stop trying to live otherwise.
• I have had a very exciting and bumpy childhood. My major grudge is tat dad left me to grow up into my own. I did most of my mentoring. Considering the realities of life on earth, I am absolutely privileged that atleast my dad was present n  I knew him right from the start, he was my own.I have got a true complete chance at life…
• The way people behave and the things they say are who they are. I must stop thinking that they are only fooling around just because I would behave in their manner only if I wished to entertain.
• People are clues unto themselves.
• Industrialization has gifted us the marvel of 2-minute -Just Add Water. We have forgotten the aromas and earthy flavours of the real deal.
• Just because some one looks it, does not mean he is it. Stereotypes are outsourced and mass produced.TotallY!
• The best way to manage relationships is to NOT nurture them. Let them grow and assume the plainness of weeds. Let them survive on their own merit. Don’t give them thought or time, you’ll want returns on your investments, and greed sticks to our insides.
• It really is a crime to have children in the times we live!
• It isn’t too fair that we choose to like traits in people like we prefer ice-cream flavours and easily dump them if they taste a tad different. Is it that our fear of falling ill has crept into our relationships as well?
• It is best to leave when the going is good.
• I am very good at moving on. When a relationship, phase or lifetime is over, it is over.
• Some major things happen for no reason at all. There are no lessons to learn, no one to blame, only to suffer a weird mood and get back to life.
• You must cherish your student life. It is like life knows that once you are out of college, you have to go through a lot, struggle to keep alive!
• Most people lust after power because like every addiction, it fortifies weakness.
• Men who flatter n take you for a ride need to be treated like dirt under your shoe and men who have the courage to treat you like a women are for keeps. If you ever find a man who treats his mother like a queen and tries to make you like her and treats you like a princess, hold on to him!

He is definitely for all time.:)

Escape

He lights up a cigarette.Inhales slowly. The smoke reaches deep inside him,every nook and corner. It unearths and unwraps: Father’s bashings, mother’s hopes, bitter promises, pointed regrets, sleepy dreams and unpolished genius. An exhale.The puff carries away all those thoughts and horrible memories.  An escape it was, at first and then a habit it became.

P.S- This one is for an old friend who not only refuses to give up the habit of smoking but advocates it too!!

N there lies the difference

Between pride and dignity. Ego.
Between justice and revenge. Motivation.
Between knowledge and wisdom. Application.
Between beauty and superficiality. External validation.
Between bliss and ignorance. Waking up.
Between bitterness and pragmatism. Clarity.
Between intelligence and stupidity. Close-mindedness. Not profanity.

Yesterday being Independence Day and all , I was thinking of what Independence meant to me. No no not patriotism and all. You know, the term Independence! That to me being independent meant a lot more than all of the above mentioned words. To me independence means being complete without depending on anyone for anything. It means I am allowed to make decisions that concern my life, alone. It means no bias on the basis of gender, race or religion. It means to live and let live!

n you know the difference between Infatuation and Love is Uncondiotionality!

There’s a liberty that comes with accepting the fleeting nature and breathtaking (in?)significance of the human condition. Forever is word best suited to fairy tales, don’t you think?

n they say Life holds all answers!

To be happy or to be successful?

There are those who think happiness is overrated.

They are the ones who don’t understand life at all.

If that makes me selfish or an objectivist(mad word of the day), so be it.

My life. My terms. I want happiness. Lucky for people, I find happiness in the smallest things.

I’ve been feeling apprehensive about my future of late.What do I really want to make of my life?Will I able to make a difference? Bring about a change in attitude, circumstance or ideology. I don’t want to be just one of the many with a high-powered prestigious job and hefty salary who makes no difference if alive or dead. I really don’t. I would much rather earn a smaller income, do what I want to do and be happy in my life n make a difference to the lives of people.Yes, I know how many reading this will think of the immature idealism underlining this statement. No, I am not lazy and thats not why I chose to settle down in a nice cozy life. I believe that because you have ONLY one life, you are supposed to do what you want with it instead of thinking about what people might say if you don’t have a 7 figure salary by 30 n stuff! Bah to them!

To be honest, as I write this, I am thinking of the impracticality and impossibility of it all.I hear close friends talking about leaving the country and never looking back. I hear all the rationale for getting a good job “somewhere” and being ‘settled’. And the funny thing is, that also makes sense. A lot of sense. That might just be what I end up doing with my life.Aiiiyyyooo!

It’s just that the idea of being ‘settled’, implies a certain amount of complacence and satisfaction with what I see around me. There are so many things I’m thinking of right now and unable to frame coherently into a sentence.For lack of a better way to put it, I would always like to be somewhat dissatisfied with what I see and what I do. Or else, what is the point of it all?

See I told you I am going nuts with each passing day.I have completely forgotten the point of this post. Tell me if you find one.;)

O god, Please tell me!

Disclaimer; Now just because I have been writing a post too many on praying and stuff does  NOT make me OLD!I am just getting more and more in touch with my spiritual self!

When we pray, what do we pray for? Do we ask God to give us everything or do we ask Him to give us what we badly require? Do we just irritate Him all the time with our never-ending problems, or we just wait, watch and see what He has in store for us? Me, I have started telling him to take away everything else thats not meant to be mine and leave me ONLY with whats meant to be mine! At times I interrogate myself in between prayers. “Should I ask Him to solve this and this problem for me?” “Maybe I shouldn’t ask too much. I sound too demanding!“. Some might say that you have to ask everything openly — demand your rights; get your word out there and stuff. That if you don’t voice what you want, how will He know?

I remember as a kid, I used to ask God to assist me first-hand whenever I was at a crossroad. Before flipping a coin I used to ask Him – “Ok now… Heads is what I want, so tell me if I will get what I want okay?”. Secretly I try to bribe Him – “If you make the coin show Heads up first, I will come and see you at the temple today!”. He didn’t somehow like the bribing and I always happened to see the opposite side of the coin. Then I go – “Damn. God is too busy processing other coin flipping matches now. Maybe I should try later’. Then I keep flipping the coin till I get “what I want” after which yours truly is a very happy lady. (Now I am beginning to understand that it was a sign. He was telling me, try try try till you actually get what you want!!!)This is basically how I used to pray back then – with bribes and by using tools to get indirect answers from the almighty. I mean He can’t really scream out from heaven in response to my questions (that’s so ungodly like no?), so I might as help Him out by giving some medium through which He can answer. “O god please tell me” , coin flipping, paper chits, dice — all of these were used to “get an answer”. Sometimes I get tempted to try all that again. But considering my success rate with the same, I rather not. I think God has already given His answer when it comes to using such techniques. See, even He doesn’t like dirty politics !

Some preach that no matter how much you pray you will only end up with what He thinks is right for you. And I’m a believer of this. Because of this belief, I have always restricted myself from placing too many demands while praying or getting too upset when something doesn’t go the way I want it to. However, these days I have pressure from a lot of things and people. I cant figure out what or where my life is headed to. Right now, I cannot even toss coins and take chits coz I really have no choice exactly. I can only pray that things tune themselves and that I be able to find some kind of clarity to my life soon!

I just came across this prayer by Rabindranath Tagore and I feel it befits a person who thinks the same way I do — a person who never demands anything in particular, but just strength to deal with everyday problems.

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield,
but to my own strength.

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.

Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;

But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.”

Eat, Pray, Love, people… and stay happy, always!

And if prayer doesn’t help… Have a chocolate!!!